Heshootshescores 1,904 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Scotland's First Minister Nicolla Sturgeon last night called on SFA and SPFL Chiefs to act following allegations that clubs are introducing sectarianism through selective choice of players names. "Its not part of my vision for Scotland, and is quite frankly unacceptable", she claimed in a statement made by her office. This was backed by Rosie McFlaherty, Minister for Home Affairs, who added, " We simply wont stand by and watch as all the great work we have done jailing fans for singing is compromised by the clubs themselves". Her colleague Meaghann O'Kelly, Minister for Cultural Affairs was outraged on behalf of her 10 year old nephew, who had been apparently upset by an incident at the weekend. The issue is thought to relate to Glasgow giants Rangers, and their recent capture of young Scottish player, Billy King, from Heart of Midlothian. Rangers Manager Mark Warburton commented, "With respect, we were given an opportunity to sign a young Scottish player, and with respect to everyone at Hearts, we simply grabbed that opportunity". Others weren't so sure. Celtic supremo, Peter Lawwell was angered by the issue, " there's sporting integrity issues here", he asserted and clarified that he would be instructing Stewart Regan and Neil Doncaster how to respond in the morning. Lawwell was busy last night acquiring the names of all Ross County players, club officials and all of their close relatives, in the wake of their League Cup Semi Final clash at Hampden. Former Glasgow Herald journalist Angela Haggerty was less diplomatic." I'm pure dead beelin so ah ahm", sobbed the horribly disfigured hack, while fellow ex-journalist, and well known 'Rangers supporter' , Graham Spiers was too upset to discuss the issue having just witnessed Celtic's shock defeat." Its just not right", he mumbled, before being led away to be comforted by friends and family at an undisclosed location. BBC journalist Chris McLaughlan, who had spent Saturday afternoon hanging around outside of Ibrox Stadium, where he insisted he was "almost sure", he had heard some sectarian singing coming from inside, added that he was off to investigate this latest development, and would "probably be offended" by it later tonight. Claims that Mr Warburton spent last night in London chasing the signature of promising Spurs youngster Finlay Blood were denied by a Rangers spokesman, who also denied emerging claims that Rangers had changed Mr King's name by deed poll last week. He further described suggestions that Rangers had similar intentions for another 10 first team players, as "ridiculous". Assorted Press c. 2016 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mabawsa 888 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 LOL! For a few seconds reading the first paragraph I could feel my blood boiling!...... Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cumnockbear 2,446 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thewhitesettler 2,711 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Very good mate. It's just like the real thing, except your version is more believable. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bgally 452 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 nice one,you had me going at the start Although you never know with those cnuts. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlBear. 8,499 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 I genuinely believe you genuinely think that is genuinely funny. Genuinely. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlbertzLoyalRSC 18,055 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Fuck off with that pish mate! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 2,428 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 I only twigged that it wasn't genuine at the Lawwell bit, I thought it was genuine up to that point. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gmcf 34,087 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
siddiqi_drinker 14,635 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 3 hours ago, AlbertzLoyalRSC said: Fuck off with that pish mate! Congrats., your sense of humour bypass obviously worked. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TEFTONG 60,064 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 That 1st wee bit had me..Well played Sir.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jintybear 8,536 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 1 hour ago, Dazzler said: I only twigged that it wasn't genuine at the Lawwell bit, I thought it was genuine up to that point. It was the hag bit when I twigged purely because the papers tend to put things slightly more eloquently than what she would actually say! Even the Lawwell bit was believable! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueBeard 241 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Nice wee cheer me up for a Monday morning, the Hag bit had me laugh out loud at work, but on a serious note, Finlay Blood ??? sounds like a yes voter,best check whit school he went tae. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluerod 358 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 A well written piece had me laughing Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlegKuznetsov 10,816 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 It all reminds of Owen Archdeacon, and the controversy over ceptic signing someone with such a name. Oh, it lasted for a whole nanosecond. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copland bear 7,966 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 So so funny. But that's how pathetic the other mob have got that this is not too far from the truth in their eyes Its not that our fault King Billy scored on the 16hour in the 90minute for the queens eleven. Things like this a just meant to happen Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
markem 7,251 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Lol 'Horriblly disfigered' She looks like she has fell off of Tevez''s neck. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drum 160 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 'Finlay Blood' .... superb Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
FSM 20,892 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Imagine the outrage that will happen when we sign young German starlet Friedrich Schomberg. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ritchieshearercaldow 22,123 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 But only in Scotland could this actually be perceived as factual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameltoe 52 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 59 minutes ago, ritchieshearercaldow said: But only in Scotland could this actually be perceived as factual. Aye. Bhrendan o hara is getting it in the SNP agenda for May as we speak. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corky True Legend 2,682 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 6 hours ago, Dazzler said: I only twigged that it wasn't genuine at the Lawwell bit, I thought it was genuine up to that point. I thought it was a wind-up UNTIL the Lawwell bit then I thought for a minute it might be genuine. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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