I went to see Brokeback Mountain. I thought it was a western. I'm not—well I hope I'm not homophobic—I swear to god, anyway they told me it was a western, now I'm sitting in the back—I'm watching it and I'm like "where's the guy—I wanna see a guy with a white hat and a guy with a black hat and I wanna see em' shootin' each other up in front of the saloon, y'know?" The last thing I wanna see, is a close-up of a beautiful hot cock slippin' into an asshole. Now, they didn't show that in the movie, but why not? If they're gonna make a movie, make it right! So I wanna be in the back cheering "Go, go sheriff! You'll get the fuckin' townsfolk behind you!" Y'know when it really comes down to it, I don't wanna be fuckin' whackin' off on some guy in front of me and cum all over him, and then he's got cum all over—and then he's yellin', and then who's the homophobe, right? This guy is so fuckin' unsure of his sexuality, he's mad at me because I jizzed all over his face!