williy6 0 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Married couple lying in bed one night, the hubby is reading a book and turns round and starts playing with his wifes P""sy, she jumps up and rips her clothes off, to which the hubby asks her what she is doing, well i thought after were playing with me we were going to have sex. shocked he replysI was just wetting my finger so i could turn the page Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheQueensXI Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_RFC87 761 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 What do you do if a blonde throws a Grenade at you?Pull the pin and throw it back. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gleem 14 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 What do you do if a blonde throws a Grenade at you?Pull the pin and throw it back. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lochinver-bear 2 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 good ones Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
williy6 0 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 What do you do if a blonde throws a Grenade at you?Pull the pin and throw it back. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheQueensXI Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 why cant you find painkillers in the jungle?cos the parrots-ate-em-all Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gleem 14 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 why cant you find painkillers in the jungle?cos the parrots-ate-em-all <clack> dear god, my grandad told me that yesterday Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
williy6 0 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 why cant you find painkillers in the jungle?cos the parrots-ate-em-all <clack> dear god, my grandad told me that yesterday Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lochinver-bear 2 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 A man and his wife are returning from holiday, while on holiday they decided to buy themselves some pets, he bought a snake while the woman got a skunk. As they are passing through airport control they notice a sign which says "NO ANIMALS WILL BE ALLOWED THROUGH QUARANTINE"Slightly distressed the woman turns to her husband and asks what they should do. After thinking hard for 5 minutes the man come up with a plan "what I'll do is tie the snake around my waist and try to pretend that it's a snake skin belt""Yes" the woman replies "but what about the skunk?" "I don't know, you'll just have to hide it up your skirt""but what about the smell?" the woman asks. To which the man replies "Look, if it dies it dies!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
williy6 0 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 A man and his wife are returning from holiday, while on holiday they decided to buy themselves some pets, he bought a snake while the woman got a skunk. As they are passing through airport control they notice a sign which says "NO ANIMALS WILL BE ALLOWED THROUGH QUARANTINE"Slightly distressed the woman turns to her husband and asks what they should do. After thinking hard for 5 minutes the man come up with a plan "what I'll do is tie the snake around my waist and try to pretend that it's a snake skin belt""Yes" the woman replies "but what about the skunk?" "I don't know, you'll just have to hide it up your skirt""but what about the smell?" the woman asks. To which the man replies "Look, if it dies it dies!" Outstanding FPMSL Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
minstral 5,375 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 at christmas we must remember the lord giveth.but the chinese takeaway and deliver. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lochinver-bear 2 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 at christmas we must remember the lord giveth.but the chinese takeaway and deliver. nice one Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lochinver-bear 2 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping out.The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's Ass"The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's Ass."Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wullie! 8 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 :lol: :lol: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
williy6 0 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 Police are loking for a dyslexic santa in Ipswich.Apparently hes been leaving Prozzies under the trees !!!!!!!!!!!! <tankkk> <tankkk> Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianGer 1 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 A man and his wife are returning from holiday, while on holiday they decided to buy themselves some pets, he bought a snake while the woman got a skunk. As they are passing through airport control they notice a sign which says "NO ANIMALS WILL BE ALLOWED THROUGH QUARANTINE"Slightly distressed the woman turns to her husband and asks what they should do. After thinking hard for 5 minutes the man come up with a plan "what I'll do is tie the snake around my waist and try to pretend that it's a snake skin belt""Yes" the woman replies "but what about the skunk?" "I don't know, you'll just have to hide it up your skirt""but what about the smell?" the woman asks. To which the man replies "Look, if it dies it dies!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott-RFC 308 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Whats Black, White and read all over?Half a penguin! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheQueensXI Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 what do you call half a rabbit?Rab. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
williy6 0 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 what do you call half a rabbit?Rab. Now thats funny Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny 9 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Some fine ones. Minstral's wins. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deej 1 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 A young woman in Glasgow was so depressed that she decided to end herlife by throwing herself into the Clyde.She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing waterwhen a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'moff to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on myship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'llkeep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."The girl nodded yes. After all,what did she have to lose? Perhaps afresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in alifeboat.From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece offruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain."What are you doing here?" the captain asked."I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I getfood and a trip to America, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the captain said.This is the Renfrew Ferry!!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
williy6 0 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 A young woman in Glasgow was so depressed that she decided to end herlife by throwing herself into the Clyde.She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing waterwhen a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'moff to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on myship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'llkeep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."The girl nodded yes. After all,what did she have to lose? Perhaps afresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in alifeboat.From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece offruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain."What are you doing here?" the captain asked."I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I getfood and a trip to America, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the captain said.This is the Renfrew Ferry!!!! quality Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wullie! 8 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 good one deej Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sneddon 6 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 what do you call half a rabbit?Rab. partay Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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