Football basics: everyone makes a cunt of something sometime

[To Be A Ranger 4,032]

"You want to be a centre forward son?"

"Fucking right da'"

"Right you need to be brave and strong. Attack the ball like your life depends on it. Wipe out any defenders in your way. It doesn't matter if you get a black eye or a busted rib just get to the ball"

"But I want to play for Rangers da'"

"Rangers? Well forget what I just told you. If the ball comes in just shut your eyes and hope for the best."

"Thanks da'"

Honestly some of our forward play makes it seem like we are afraid to attack the ball and head it into the goal. WTF are they being coached? I've never seen such pussies play up front for us. We put some decent balls into the box but there's no attacking the front post, attacking the defenders, sticking your head in where it hurts. Big Hateley must be cringing when he sees our attempts at attacking the ball these days. McCoist was a warrior compared to this lot. And DJ  (the REAL DJ not the current one) probably NEVER lost an aerial battle with anyone. I want heart and fight up front, chase every ball, and stick your head into everything.

I've never known a successful team where no one can head a decent cross into the goal. We are hopeless at it. 

[Lloyd 10,756]

That conversation at the start of your post never happened.

[plumbGER 24,518]

Lesson 1 would be using your feet to play football.

[AlbertzLoyalRSC 18,069]

5 minutes ago, To Be A Ranger said:

"You want to be a centre forward son?"

"Fucking right da'"

"Right you need to be brave and strong. Attack the ball like your life depends on it. Wipe out any defenders in your way. It doesn't matter if you get a black eye or a busted rib just get to the ball"

"But I want to play for Rangers da'"

"Rangers? Well forget what I just told you. If the ball comes in just shut your eyes and hope for the best."

"Thanks da'"

Honestly some of our forward play makes it seem like we are afraid to attack the ball and head it into the goal. WTF are they being coached? I've never seen such pussies play up front for us. We put some decent balls into the box but there's no attacking the front post, attacking the defenders, sticking your head in where it hurts. Big Hateley must be cringing when he sees our attempts at attacking the ball these days. McCoist was a warrior compared to this lot. And DJ  (the REAL DJ not the current one) probably NEVER lost an aerial battle with anyone. I want heart and fight up front, chase every ball, and stick your head into everything.

I've never known a successful team where no one can head a decent cross into the goal. We are hopeless at it. 

No.

[To Be A Ranger 4,032]

3 minutes ago, Siwel said:

That conversation at the start of your post never happened.

How do you know that ?

Are you insinuating I made it up? How dare you?

[To Be A Ranger 4,032]

1 minute ago, AlbertzLoyalRSC said:

No.

Ok didn't work then? Just trying to put a different slant on things

[gsa 3,906]

Lesson one would def be kicking the ball.

[slimjim1690 4,534]

But they might get a concussion if they head the ball.

[Laudrup1984 25,100]

[LaudrupsPatrickBoots 13,510]

Heading the ball isn't anywhere near lesson one tbh.

[WATP-FOREVER 5,231]

Where's these guys come from 

[StirlingBear72 476]

Definitely not his Da.

[To Be A Ranger 4,032]

17 minutes ago, plumbGER said:

Lesson 1 would be using your feet to play football.

Where the fuck did lesson 1 come from?  We're on heidy lessons now

[cushynumber 25,178]

 a metaphorical situation to far

[murzo 7,446]

1 minute ago, To Be A Ranger said:

Where the fuck did lesson 1 come from?  We're on heidy lessons now

Your title ya mad man. And yer da sells Avon. Gooooooooaaaaaaaallllll.

[To Be A Ranger 4,032]

2 minutes ago, murzo said:

Your title ya mad man. And yer da sells Avon. Gooooooooaaaaaaaallllll.

cheers mate. And what's up with Avon ya mong?

[plumbGER 24,518]

15 minutes ago, To Be A Ranger said:

Where the fuck did lesson 1 come from?  We're on heidy lessons now

Have you edited the title?

[To Be A Ranger 4,032]

Just now, plumbGER said:

Have you edited the title?

Tried but don't know how to 

[siddiqi_drinker 14,635]

"hey dad I want to play heady-tennis"

"then first, learn how to kick the ball son".

Joking aside, if Morelos, Windass and Murphy had been able to head the ball we would have won 6-0 on aggregate. 

 

[plumbGER 24,518]

12 minutes ago, To Be A Ranger said:

Tried but don't know how to 

Well that's where i got lesson 1 from

[To Be A Ranger 4,032]

Just now, plumbGER said:

Well that's where i got lesson 1 from

I'm not playing any more 

[Big Al 55 9,248]

So that's where my da went!

[To Be A Ranger 4,032]

Yeah I know it's my own fault but fuck yeaz all. 

I know what I meant 

[Dickie 12,905]

“But I want to play for Rangers da”                                                                                                                                                                        

“ well forget what i just told you son and say 3 Hail Marys ya wee turncoat bastard”