Jump to content

Pissed off Grimsby fan


Recommended Posts

Hope this is not a repost.

Slightly peeved Grimsby supporter

summing up the feeling’s for his club..!!

Now I’m as optimistic as anyone when it comes to this twát of a football club,

but after this afternoon’s latest capitulation it’s time to wake up and smell

the coffee – we’re fúcked. Down. Goners. Non-league. To be honest I didn’t know

how it would affect me, it’s not like it hasn’t been coming, but tonight I just

feel absolutely deflated. Absolutely fúcking devastated.

I can’t get away from these emotions, I just want the whole world to just fúck

off and leave me alone. To help me come to terms with this whole mess, I’ve

decided to compile a list of everyone and everything I want to fúck off most of


For starters, work can fúck off. If they think I’m going to be there on Monday

morning they’ve got another thing coming. No way am I going in to spend time

dealing with cúnts that I can barely stand being with when I’m in a good mood,

let alone this crushing feeling of anger, frustration and outright


Plastic Premier League fans can fúck off. I just spoke to my Manchester United

supporting neighbour (who incidentally, has been to Old Trafford before – twice)

about Town’s predicament. You know what he said? “I know how you feel; it’s like

when we failed to win a trophy in ‘95”. NO IT FÚCKING WELL IS NOT!

He no longer has a face.

The girlfriend can definitely fúck off. Her best attempt at consolation – “I

don’t know why you’re bothered; you knew they were shít anyway”. Yes love, but

they’re MY shít team. They’ve been MINE for pretty much as long as I’ve been

able to wipe my own árse, and they’ll be MINE for as long as I’m alive (or at

least, until I’m no longer able to wipe my own árse).

Truth is, watching my team win does things for me that no woman can. If push

comes to shove and I’m horny, I can always have a wánk.

Barrow can fúck off. I’ve been all over the country and beyond to watch my team,

but frankly I just don’t have the stomach to visit any town which makes

Scunthorpe look like fúcking St. Tropez.

Dad, you can fúck off. This is your fault. Your idea. You introduced me to this

shower of shít. “Come with me to Blundell Park”, you said, “Come and support the

boys”. What could I do? I was fúcking four, what choice did I have? Why not get

me hooked on Heroin whilst you were at it? I could have gone with mum shopping

for bras and knickers at British Home Stores, but no, you knew best.

Granted, I’d have probably grown up a homosexual but surely even being

simultaneously búggered two guys named Seth and Quentin couldn’t hurt like this.

Seeing as we’re on the subject of homosexuality, Gok Wan can fúck off. No

particular reason, I just plain don’t like the annoying, goggle-eyed cúnt.

The F.A. can fúck off. Not for supplying us, week-in, week- out, with inept

referee after inept referee, but for imposing sensible financial rules on all

clubs in League Two. How many clubs in this division have been into

administration this season? Not one. How many points deducted? Not one. How the

fúck else are we supposed to avoid relegation – footballing merit? We didn’t

have to last season, so why spoil the fun now?

The World Cup can fúck off – I don’t care anymore.

My local pizza shop can fúck off. I ordered a 12” Pepperoni over an hour ago,

and where the fúck is it? Are they trying to fúcking fly it to me or something?

Sky Sports can fúck off. Nothing personal, but there’ll be little need for me

next season with no Town to be found anywhere. Ooh, Bolton versus Wolves, LIVE.

I think I’ll pass...

The radio can fúck off. On my way home from the match, whilst driving down the

M180, I caught three completely separate stations playing ‘Down’ by Jay Sean at

the exact same fúcking time. The song’s the best part of a year old, how the

fúck does that happen by coincidence!?

My nan’s old lucky Buddha that used to sit in her front room can fúck off.

When I was a kid I held it in my hands and wished for Town to be in the Premier

League. I meant the proper one you fat cúnt, not the one occupied by Histon,

Eastbourne and for fúck’s sake, Ebbsfleet, wherever that is.

Tonight can fúck off. I’ve had enough of trying to cope with my emotions; the

time has come for oblivion. I haven’t kept any booze in the house since an

occasion known only as ‘That Night’ by myself and the missus, but suffice to say

that the toilet duck and luminous blue mouthwash are looking like stronger

propositions by the minute.

Most of all though, the last 10 years can fúck off. In that time I’ve watched my

team fall from the top of the Championship into non-league nothingness. We’ve

gone from one great big fúck up to the next without even coming up for air, and

today is just the big, fúck off cherry on top.

One thing I’m sure of though is that we WILL be back. When it comes down to it,

a football club is basically just a set of supporters, and frankly what I’ve

learned in the last few years is that this one has some of the best.

We’ve had to put up with some shít, haven’t we boys, but in spite of all of that

the future is still bright – it’s fúcking black and white.

Grimsby ‘til I die...


Neil Jolliffe

Link to post
Share on other sites

Was expecting a video of some Grimsby fan going nuts at a game. :(


i was also expecting maybe that video of the wee fat nerd going bush at his computer table because his football manager team cant score lol and in turn he wrecks the joint :happy::happy:

Link to post
Share on other sites

This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Upcoming Events

    • 20 August 2022 11:30 Until 13:30
      Hibernian v Rangers
      Easter Road
      Scottish Premiership
      Live on Sky Sports Football
  • Create New...