50ShadesofBlue 667 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20110624/hearts-statement_2241384_2381659 Hearts statement 24.06.2011The Hearts Board of Directors has issued the following statement in relation to outside influences on players and the club."What's happening with the club today is not a new thing. For almost 7 years we have been fighting to shield the club from crooks, criminals and thieves. Many of the top players at the club have felt the bitter results of the swindles that have been carried out with them on their own skin. Skacel and Webster have returned to the club after realising where these 'football patriots' have led them."Over a short space of time 4 players at our club have been on the wrong end of the law. We note that 3 of them are represented by the same agent - Gary Mackay - who has been so vicious in his attacks against Mr Romanov."Taking into account the facts that have been omitted by the media it can be presumed that each of these cases is not a coincidence, but the result of targeted actions of a mafia that wants to manipulate the club and the results."Every year Hearts fights to be in the top 3, but even last season in the last 12 games of the season it was almost like someone replaced the team with a different one. Whose fault is that? Players? Manager's? Or it is mafia."Stealing players, bad games, problems with the law - all of that on top of record SFA fines. Problems are just shifted to another level."Mafia are dragging kids into the crime, in order to blackmail and profit on them. It is not possible to separate these people from pedophiles, and you don't need to do that. Each year we are forced to fight against these maniacs harder and harder. We are standing in their way not letting them manipulate the game of football in the way they want. As such they undermine us in every possible way they can."The task of the club is to tear these kids out of hands of criminals." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
radlord 24 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 oh my god ahhaa. Imagine the look of shock on the web admin guy's face when he got this email and had to put it up haha. Madness. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieD 18,935 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Greatest club statement I've ever read.It's the MAFIA guys. That's why we don't win. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieD 18,935 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 "Whose fault is that? Players? Manager's? Or it is mafia."This is honestly the greatest sentence I've ever read. The lack of question mark kills me. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu1993 101 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasGers 96 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Romanov Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
radlord 24 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 "Whose fault is that? Players? Manager's? Or it is mafia."This is honestly the greatest sentence I've ever read. The lack of question mark kills me.ahahah YES! exactly! I just made the same point. This is the best thing ever to have happened. I'm really quite overjoyed at this development. All subsequent club statements will now be mere footnotes to this one. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
50ShadesofBlue 667 Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Just wondering what the media will spin tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu1993 101 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 You deserve negative rep for asking. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RFC55 108,862 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Who helped him right this? IRA fitbaw club? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
radlord 24 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Also, who is Craig Thompson's agent? Please tell me he is the one not represented by that agent. If he is one of the 3 represented by that agent, this statement suggests Hearts are putting his crimes aside and blaiming the mafia...Maybe Gary Mackay is a hot 12 year old girl with amazing tits and an MSN account? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordo 33 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Vlad Romanov Whose fault is that? Players? Manager's? Or it is mafia.What a fucking line Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RFC55 108,862 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 watch Hearts get absolutely hammered for this yet IRA fc got everything they wanted Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVB 2,560 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Who helped him right this? IRA fitbaw club?Saying nothing. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RFC55 108,862 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Saying nothing.Something is not write about this Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieD 18,935 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 ahahah YES! exactly! I just made the same point. This is the best thing ever to have happened. I'm really quite overjoyed at this development. All subsequent club statements will now be mere footnotes to this one.I've just been massively disappointed to discover, upon re-reading, that it says "or it is mafia" rather than "or is it mafia" as I had first thought.Still fucking genius though. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
4MenHadADream 122 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Obviously this is the work of Romanov, the statement doesn't even make sense with idiomatic English, you have to genuinely wonder what the sane/non-Lithuanian members of the Hearts board felt like having to put their name to such a bizarre and frankly crackpot statement. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jafrfc 614 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 The last paragraph will go down in history. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyadore 9 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 LOLIn Soviet Russia, loonie statement writes you. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
radlord 24 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 maybe he's right the mafia are noncing kids with the Machiavellian aim of dropping Hearts into the bottom 6 of the SPL. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clemdog 39,389 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 That is just Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdasyn 431 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Brilliant Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clemdog 39,389 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Is this just a big metaphor about agents? Does this sound like maybe Wallace want's to come here? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gogzy 31,195 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 lol it is mafia Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluepeter 5,627 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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