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Hearts Statement


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http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20110624/hearts-statement_2241384_2381659

Hearts statement

24.06.2011

The Hearts Board of Directors has issued the following statement in relation to outside influences on players and the club.

"What's happening with the club today is not a new thing. For almost 7 years we have been fighting to shield the club from crooks, criminals and thieves. Many of the top players at the club have felt the bitter results of the swindles that have been carried out with them on their own skin. Skacel and Webster have returned to the club after realising where these 'football patriots' have led them.

"Over a short space of time 4 players at our club have been on the wrong end of the law. We note that 3 of them are represented by the same agent - Gary Mackay - who has been so vicious in his attacks against Mr Romanov.

"Taking into account the facts that have been omitted by the media it can be presumed that each of these cases is not a coincidence, but the result of targeted actions of a mafia that wants to manipulate the club and the results.

"Every year Hearts fights to be in the top 3, but even last season in the last 12 games of the season it was almost like someone replaced the team with a different one. Whose fault is that? Players? Manager's? Or it is mafia.

"Stealing players, bad games, problems with the law - all of that on top of record SFA fines. Problems are just shifted to another level.

"Mafia are dragging kids into the crime, in order to blackmail and profit on them. It is not possible to separate these people from pedophiles, and you don't need to do that. Each year we are forced to fight against these maniacs harder and harder. We are standing in their way not letting them manipulate the game of football in the way they want. As such they undermine us in every possible way they can.

"The task of the club is to tear these kids out of hands of criminals."

:lol:

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"Whose fault is that? Players? Manager's? Or it is mafia."

This is honestly the greatest sentence I've ever read. The lack of question mark kills me.

ahahah YES! exactly! I just made the same point. This is the best thing ever to have happened. I'm really quite overjoyed at this development. All subsequent club statements will now be mere footnotes to this one.

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Also, who is Craig Thompson's agent? Please tell me he is the one not represented by that agent. If he is one of the 3 represented by that agent, this statement suggests Hearts are putting his crimes aside and blaiming the mafia...

Maybe Gary Mackay is a hot 12 year old girl with amazing tits and an MSN account?

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ahahah YES! exactly! I just made the same point. This is the best thing ever to have happened. I'm really quite overjoyed at this development. All subsequent club statements will now be mere footnotes to this one.

I've just been massively disappointed to discover, upon re-reading, that it says "or it is mafia" rather than "or is it mafia" as I had first thought.

Still fucking genius though.

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Obviously this is the work of Romanov, the statement doesn't even make sense with idiomatic English, you have to genuinely wonder what the sane/non-Lithuanian members of the Hearts board felt like having to put their name to such a bizarre and frankly crackpot statement.

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