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´╗┐Nicola Sturgeon was touring rural Scotland in the First Minister's chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumped out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Nicola in her u

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A Glaswegian and an Irishman are in a bar one night, having a beer. All of a sudden the Irishman downs his beer, throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces and says: "In Oirland our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

The Glaswegian then picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun, shoots the Irishman and then says:

"In Glasgow we have so many Irish people that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice"

:uk:

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2 tarriers fae Royston go to Amsterdam on holiday. They go to the 1st brothel they see and ask if they can get a fat bird with ginger hair, nae teeth, who's a heroin addict and has a fanny like a vandalised bus seat. The madam says 'my...you two are kinky eh?' they both reply 'naw, we're just looking for our sister!

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Never trust a man who doesn't drink, doesn't swear and doesn't like football - definitely something up there.

The Afghan Paralympic team have been detained at Heathrow Airport by anti terrorist police on suspicion of trying to bring small arms into the country

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2 tarriers fae Royston go to Amsterdam on holiday. They go to the 1st brothel they see and ask if they can get a fat bird with ginger hair, nae teeth, who's a heroin addict and has a fanny like a vandalised bus seat. The madam says 'my...you two are kinky eh?' they both reply 'naw, we're just looking for our sister!

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thats fckn brilliant :D

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