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The police have just been to my door holding a picture of my wife. They said "Is this your wife sir?" Shocked, I answered "Yes" They then said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a b

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My three-year-old son got into the bath with me last night.

"Why is your willy much longer and fatter than mine?"

"I don't know, daddy," he replied.


my 5 year old son got into the bath with me last night..

"daddy" he asked "why is your penis different from mine"

"well son" i replied "for a start, yours isnt erect"

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What's the strongest part of a vegetable?

The wheelchair :lol:


Why do darkies have rhythm?

Coz god fucked up their hair :lol:


Ayrton Senna goes to the gates of heaven and ask's St Peter if he can get into heaven.

St Peter says "We're really busy just now, could you wait in the waiting area and we'll let you in as soon as we can".

Suddenly, there's a big flash and Super Cooper appears. St Peter lets him into heavaen right away.

So, Senna says to St Peter "I've been waiting for ages and this guy just appears and gets right in, who the fuck is he anyway"?

And St Peter says "Put it this way, if you could take corners as good as him, you wouldn't be here" :lol:

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I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age but eventually there she was, stood beside me. I gave her a cheeky wink and said, "Get that fucking trolley over here, they're doing 3 cases of Stella for the price of 2!"

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