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The police have just been to my door holding a picture of my wife. They said "Is this your wife sir?" Shocked, I answered "Yes" They then said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a b

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One day the Pope was walking down an Italian road when

he spotted a black magic shop in an alleyway.

Curious, he decided to go inside and look around. As he

approached the counter, the woman behind told him they

were doing a special on Voodoo Dolls.

The Pope thought for a few moments and told the woman

he would like to buy one. She then informed him he would

need to get the hair of the person he would like the doll to

represent. He plucked some hair from his head and

handed it over the counter. "You want a doll of yourself?"

she asked. The Pope nodded and soon left with his doll.

The next day the Pope was visiting the victim of abuse at

one of his churches. Producing the doll he said to the

child, "Show me on the doll where the naughty priest

touched you."

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Not sick but made me laugh...

Guy goes to casualty and says to doctor, help me doc I've been raped by an elephant, my arse is in tatters.

Doctor bends him over to have a look and says, jesus your arse is gaping like a hippos yawn, I thought elephants had long thin dicks?

Guys says aye they have. but the bastard fingered me first

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