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It all seems to be doom and gloom on every thread here and i for one would like to see a thread where we can still have a laugh or marvel at some of the weird things about football related stuff.

If there's already a thread i've missed then delete.

I'll start with two 'true stories'.

The first being the death of the owl mascott that was kicked by a player of the opposing team when it landed on the pitch.

Not funny in itself but the player's reason for doing it seems so.

"I wanted to see if it would fly".

Er ..its an owl you idiot of course it can fly.

A friend of mine who's friend once trained with

C****c told him that at one time they were so hard up they had to use second hand gear.

At the time C****c were staring liquidation in the face and their only hope was a little Canadian guy in a bunnet.

One day the young guy was training and the Canadian in the bunnet was watching.

As he ran round the pitch the sole of his trainer became detached and was flapping about.

Not having any spares he continued to train in them.

The man in the bunnet noticed the young guys predicament and called him over.

As he walked over,sole flapping,the man in the bunnet pulled out a large wad of notes and said to the lad, "you can't go around like that son,this is C****c you're training with" and proceeded to hand him the elastic band that had held is money together.

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Bertie Peacock was sitting with his face tripping him in a corner of the selik dressing room after they had beaten Rangers at Parkhead, Billy McNeil notices him a says "what's up with you Bertie" and bertie replied "it's them Rangers supporters, all night they have been calling me a f****n bastard" to which McNeil replies "don't let it get you down mate, they always call me that tae", to which Bertie replies, "well it's ok for you, you are one".

The old ones are still the best,..... my coats on.

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Bertie Peacock was sitting with his face tripping him in a corner of the selik dressing room after they had beaten Rangers at Parkhead, Billy McNeil notices him a says "what's up with you Bertie" and bertie replied "it's them Rangers supporters, all night they have been calling me a f****n bastard" to which McNeil replies "don't let it get you down mate, they always call me that tae", to which Bertie replies, "well it's ok for you, you are one".

The old ones are still the best,..... my coats on.

Auld.

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Aye the auld ones are normally the best,so here's another one and I'll get my coat on the way out. :pipe:

Henri Paul went to heaven and rang the bell on the pearly gates.Saint Peter answered the ring and asked him what he wanted?

Henri Paul said; I want to be admitted to heaven.

St. Peter replied; "You just can't walk into heaven you know! You have to be somebody famous"

Henri Paul said; "Famous? I am famous...I was driving the car that Princess Diana got killed in,so isn't that famous enough for you?"

St. Peter replied; "NO! You have to be really famous, for example,famous like John Wayne, or Elvis Presley, or Davie Cooper"

Henri Paul said; "And who the fuck is Davie Cooper?"

St. Peter replied; "Listen, if you could have taken a corner like Davie Cooper, you wouldn't be here in the first place, so you're not getting in"

:thumbup:

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Jason MacAteer spots Jimmy White in an airport waiting to board a flight and proceeds to bend of as if to play a snooker shot and shouts "One Hundred and Eighty!"

some more MacAteer anecdotes Jason McAteer (nicknamed Trigger) being asked at a take-away if he wanted his pizza cut into eight slices or four, and answering “Four. I’m not that hungry.”

When he locked himself out of his Porsche, his mate told him to get a coat-hanger so he could pick the lock and he came back with a wooden one. Babb: "Pass the ketchup Jason"

McAteer: "The brown or the red?" "What is your position at the company? "

"Right back." - Jason McAteer on a credit card form

"On a flight back from a World Cup qualifier in Latvia or some such place, he asked a teammate why the flight over had taken five hours, but the one back would only take two hours. He was perfectly happy with the answer: 'This pilot knows a short cut'.

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Dunno if this is genuine or not , probably everyones heard it before

Graeme Souness is in La Fiorentina with Ray Wilkins , chatting with Ian Ferguson and selling him the reasons why he wants him to come to Rangers from St Mirren , in the middle of the conversation Ray asks Fergie, if he would like a Cappuccino, to which Fergie replied , "No thanks , I'm no hungry " :D

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