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Challenge to d'artagnen's posts


lisboy

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I don’t want to lose Barry Ferguson the player but, in terms of talismanic captains, Thierry Henry’s departure is better for Arsenal than Ferguson’s remaining at Ibrox is for Rangers.

Glasgow Queen Street Station is a big public lavvy with trains on the end. I hate it.

Linlithgow is a lovely historic town with a great pub crawl up it’s main thoroughfare. I love it.

It’s worth enduring the former only to enjoy the latter. And on Friday evening I did just that.

What has made the entrance to Glasgow’s second station all the more disgusting is the relatively new phenomenon of grievous lobbying by rouge-splashed jobsworths representing the “Daily Record PMâ€. Their persistence is only matched by their dimness. They don’t understand when you say “no, thanks†to something free. Their acne-riddled physiognomy disintegrates into bewilderment.

“But - but it’s FREE, mate! It costs NUFFIN!â€.

The queues of people behind them, waiting patiently to PAY for their Evening Times is not clue enough to these naive peddlers of gratis grime. They probably answered an add - in the Record, of course, because they’re “Real Scots†- offering a “fantastic promotions opportunity - Bubbly personality required to dazzle the waiting publicâ€. And it’s been a long, confusing descent into reality ever since.

When you explain to them “Look, pal - you’d have to pay ME!â€, the penny they never ask for begins its long, wearisome plummett. They’re asking you to take a handful of paper that offers in its leaves a Scotland of such myopic, internecine self-loathing that these innocent paper boys and girls of the 21st century should be suing their employers for rubber gloves and gas masks. Handling such toxicity must be perilous.

Don’t get jumped outside Waxy O’Connors, don’t get hit by a taxi turning blindly in the bay bay the rank, don’t be tempted into Boneparte’s locked-toilet, daylight-free boozer, don’t pay £3.50 for a tiny bottle of coke and half a mars bar at WH Smith’s and do all you can to avoid the queue at the only Burger King with more pigeons than customers on its seats: Do all this and you’ve almost survived the Queen Street experience. But avoiding the “free†Daily Record PM†is the hardest task of all whenver ye wish to journey to Helensburgh, Perth, Inverness or Maryhill.

I finally got past them at the door on Friday. Got my ticket - didnae resist Burger King (monterrey Melt comes with Fat Eck’s Quality Guaranteed recommendation - got through the hazardously tempremental “automatic†gates and onto the 17:45 to Embra. 30-ish minutes to Linlithgow. Found an empty seat. A seat empty of human beings, that is. For I had to move smomething from said arse-container which proved more lethal than asking the head-bouncer at the SAS Arms to “get the f**k oot mah chair!â€

Yup - there was a Daily Record PM discarded on the seat.

Before I realised what it was I’d picked it up … merely to make my seat more comfortable, you understand. Then , as I made to shove it into the wee net bin on the back of the seat in front of mine, I realised why it was wrong to assume this paper had been “discardedâ€. You CANNOT discard this rag. It STICKS to you - like an anemic leech.

Couldn’t get it off my skin. It hooked itself into my hands. With no warning it thrust it’s back-page headline into my face while throwing my entire 20-stone down into the sitting position. Can’t remember the details - just know there were a lot of monosyllables and something to the efect of “LENNON SAYS RAYNJURS UR PISHâ€.

keef Jackosn’s perma-tan, Fire Island-friendly coupon held me in its evil gaze. I’d been ambushed. I HAD to turn inside to page 31-33 to find out more.

The Record PM kept me prisoner there - almost all the way to Linlithgow. I swear, reading the complete works of Shakespeare is easier than getting through the quagmire of single-syllabled abbreviated, truncated, colloquialised verbiage which masquerades under the banner of tabloid journalism. My hand was allowed free for just enough time to show the guard my ticket - the Record PM doesn’t want to arouse suspicion - but I was then forced to keep on to the end of “Lenny’s last big inturvyoowâ€.

And, do you know something, Neil Lennon was singing my tune.

And I don’t mean The Sash.

Okay, okay - the bugger’s clearly at the wind-up a bit and this suits the keef Jacksons of the world , whose job it is to slag Rangers AND celtic fans enough to keep them buying their employers’ shite-rags. But the message from Lennon, once it could be discerned from the pish around it, was that Barry Ferguson had been allowed to run the Rangers dressing room in a way that was totally detrimental to The Rangers team, club, fans.

Basically, Lennon was saying that if much the same team could be so brilliant under Walter Smith then why weren’t those PLAYERS being blamed for the “disastrous†start under Paul Le Guen?

Me? Okay, after a second-half to last season in which I invoked the guy’s name every day, I’ve said I won’t mention my views on the Frenchman’s tenure until we get punted out of Europe again (Paul Le Guen’s the only Rangers manager never to lose a European game). But, what about the damage left by what occurred in the dressing room from July 2006 to January 2007? Or, more to the point, what about the damage left when the only conceivable, Rangers-class solution to that damage - the manager gets shot of the trouble-maker without batting an eye-lid - was not allowed to be implemented.

Yet again, I found myself wandering if Barry Ferguson’s Rangers career might not be as secure as he and many of his brand new fans thought it would be when he apparently “saw off†PLG. And, to talk about the present manager and the outgoing Chairman, methinks neither’s conscience would be too troubled, morelike it would be EASED, if they could give the captaincy to someone else at Ibrox - Ferguson’s career move therafter would be up to himself.

We’d need to find another player like him, with the obvious drive he has. But Barry’s drive for the Rangers cause has taken a late misguided course in my opinion. David Murray probably let him win the battle with Le Guen because Barry’d won the battle for the loudmouth fans’ affection - an affection which was never there from anyone other than ME since his departure to Blackburn - and all DM now wants is an easy ride out of Dodge. Let them have their bread, says DM - I’ve been trying to give them cake for years and they’re too f**king amnesiac to appreciate it.

Walter probably anticipates joining Dave on that journey, maybe even before the end of the year. He, like Murray, is just giving the Gers fans the stability they crave in the short-term - a stability which was a sacking offence in the eyes of so many fly-by-night Bears during the Nine-In-A-Row years - and he’ll probably not want the hassle and rancour which firing Barry and then replacing him adequately will incurr.

However, if anyone can do it and make Beardom believe it needs doing, it’s Walter Smith, with Ally McCoist’s support - and they’d have to do it soon, before we get a few bad results and their stock begins to fall, or before their domestic achievements build up again to such a level that the “LOYAL†brigade want them sacked for their lack of European success.

I went to Linlithgow. I had my chat and my beers. You must all try the Four Marys - they look after their pint drinkers and have the awards to prove it. You needen’t even be trying the wooly-jumper Real Ale stuff - the head on a pint of Tennent’s Gut Rot is coiffeured with all the care applied to a jug of Boddlington’s Old Red Genital Scrumper.

Nice wee sesh; ended at a very sensibly early time; Dave and I have one more for the road and, both having sensibly checked out our directions and train times upon arrival, we head up to the proper platform through the proper underpass and find half the trains are cancelled because THERE’S BEEN A FREAKIN LANDSLIDE AT GLASGOW QUEEN STREET!! (told you it was the worst station in the universe!) I also run out of money on my pay-as-you-go so I cannae communicate with Dave on his painfully long journey to the North East while I’m eventually stuck on a train which gets in THREE QUARTERS OF AN HOUR after the final local connection which usually gets me to my hoose without need for a taxi. Needed a pee on the train - couldn’t lock the door and ended up exposing my pee-pee to several passing drunks…with microscopes.

Still - the delays did give me time to nip back down to that kebab shop across from the Four Marys. Made it all worthwhile.

And then, after being shat back out the Queen Street termANUS, I caught a taxi on Hannover Street. And, after the “hud a good night? - aye, ye been busy yerself?†pleasantries, the driver informed me Thierry Henry was off to Barcelona.

We chatted about Arsenal. We stated how sorry we’d felt for them in the 2006 Champions League Final. We ventured tentatitve agreement on the fact Larsson had changed the game for Barcelona. A moment’s silence and then, the driver being braver than me, said “Im a Rangers man, tho - just hought the guy was a great playerâ€.

As quick as I could; “Aye - me too, mate - at least if he’s turning Champions League finals it proves The Rangers wurnae being turned over by any auld muppet all they years he was at parkheaid.â€

Usually that would be enough for ice-breaking between Gers fans. You find out you support the same side - you’ll both think much the same way. Not now, though. Not now when, for example, you have the biggest Rangers website on the net infested with arseholes slagging Ronnie Esplin’s credentials as a Rangers fan (S’a bit like saying Jesus wisnae much of a Christian!)

A second ice has to be broken amongst Rangers strangers these days and, again, because I was just sober enogh to know how drunk I was and how I should avoid heated discussions in such circumstances, it was Mr Taxi who took the chance:

“I don’t know what’s happening with us just now - I don’t know if we’re going in the right direction … â€

As soon as I realised he wisnae talking about finding my hoose, the least I could do was say it for him - let him know he was in safe company:

“The way I see it, mate - Le Guen could have been a clown but there’s something seriously wrng when Rangers are sacking a manager after six months.â€

And, as if he knew about my pledge to the readers of this blog, he concentrated the argument for me:

“I think so too, pal - it’s a bad day when the manager of Rangers is less important than the captain.â€

Aye - especially when the captain’s behaved like a greetin-faced wean.

I don’t want to lose Barry Ferguson the player but, in terms of talismanic captains, Thierry Henry’s departure is better for Arsenal than Ferguson’s remaining at Ibrox is for Rangers.

Enroute to Linlithgow and now in the mode of transport taking me back home I received back-up on the old message I was preaching and I received a focus for my new concern: Paul Le Guen my be gone - but the causes of his deparure are still here:

A suicidally impatient and monumentally vocal section of the Rangers Support - egomaniacs who’re beginning to dominate the running of our great club - and Barry Ferguson, a lovely guy who was allowed to become the monster in a wholly avoidable Ibrox horror show.

So many folk want Murray out and they’re getting what they want but, as usual, they have no comprehension of the material effects of discarding the club’s very RUDDER.

Walter Smith always said, during NIAR, that it wasn’t the defeats which marked a teams character - it was the REACTION to defeats. In other words, when there’s a problem in the team it’ll be highlighted by poor results and that offers you the chance to GET RID of that problem. That was The Rangers Way - but now we want rid of all the man who ensured the Rangers Way was implemented. Murray’s end-game has begun and the calamities which that will bring began unfolding with the outcome of the Ferguson-Le Guen scenario.

David Murray will leave, probably this season, and Walter Smith may well go with him. Times could well get worse. But, if we’re to start a brave new era of domination under a new money man and the new manager he brings in, how can we do that when the “legend†the Rangers Support now take as their leader is the club captain - a player who CELEBRATED when we suffered the most humiliating defeat in our history, in last year’s League Cup?

Our next manager, if he’s the kind capable of making us European competitors, will NOT be a Rangers legend. The best ex-Ranger on thr management scene is Sir Alex Ferguson and his Rangers playing career is long forgotten - mostly coz it was shite - and has been long surpassed by years of mutaul loathing tween him and us for his Aberdeen days and the fallout of a wee Man United loss at Ibrox in a pre-season “friendlyâ€. In short, there are no managers of Rangers class out there who can arrive at Ibrox with the Rangers legend credentials which Walter Smith posseses. Sir BARRY Fersguon must be put in his place (hopefully that wil not mean him leaving the club) if proper order is to be restored to the ruthless chain of command which makes Rangers THE most powerful club in Scottish Football History. Our fans, at this moment in time, will only take that from another, bigger RANGERS legend. Le Guen had the best reputation of any up-and-coming manager on the planet when we landed him - yet he got no patienece and no time and he got no backing versus Barry: So even if Jose Mourinho was in the home dugout on 28th July, he’d have less clout with the guys running our support than once Bazza Fergie. Only someone whose given more to Rangers than our captain will be allowed to order our captain about now.

Walter Smith has to sort Barry out.

And I didn’t learn that from the back of the Daily Record or the mouth of an ex-Celtic captain. I managed to work it out all by myself last January - it’s just reassuring to know thare are so many Bluenoses and football people out there who know what happened at our club last season was wrong and that the traces of it can still be lethal if not propely eradicated.

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Lennon may have had a point but who cares? If the players hadn't rallied round Bazza then we may not have finnished in the top six.

perhaps if the players had stuck by Paul le Guen we might have win the Uefa cup after all PLG is the only rangers manager not to lose a european game..

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No more racing drivers ?

Hope its short for Lisburn rather than Lisbon.

its actually las olas blvd ft lauderdale

Aye and its actually D'Artagnan and not D'artagnen...

But dont worry...I wont tell Alexander Dumas

lol lol

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No more racing drivers ?

Hope its short for Lisburn rather than Lisbon.

its actually las olas blvd ft lauderdale

Aye and its actually D'Artagnan and not D'artagnen...

But dont worry...I wont tell Alexander Dumas

lol lol

Which makes me wonder....what is a Fort Lauderdale boy doing in a Glasgow Railway Station on a Friday night ? :D

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No more racing drivers ?

Hope its short for Lisburn rather than Lisbon.

its actually las olas blvd ft lauderdale

Aye and its actually D'Artagnan and not D'artagnen...

But dont worry...I wont tell Alexander Dumas

lol lol

Which makes me wonder....what is a Fort Lauderdale boy doing in a Glasgow Railway Station on a Friday night ? :D

I lived in las olas for 10 years and was a player for Linlithgow rose from 1979 to 1982

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i dont think there was a choice i think le guen had made up his mind, and will go down in history as the man who gave up at RFC.

I disagee AB there is no player bigger than the manger of the club.

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i dont think there was a choice i think le guen had made up his mind, and will go down in history as the man who gave up at RFC.

I disagee AB there is no player bigger than the manger of the club.

And no manager or player bigger than the club

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Lennon may have had a point but who cares? If the players hadn't rallied round Bazza then we may not have finnished in the top six.

perhaps if the players had stuck by Paul le Guen we might have win the Uefa cup after all PLG is the only rangers manager not to lose a european game..

Dream on new boy :rolleyes:

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i dont think there was a choice i think le guen had made up his mind, and will go down in history as the man who gave up at RFC.

I disagee AB there is no player bigger than the manger of the club.

Bull shit!

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i dont think there was a choice i think le guen had made up his mind, and will go down in history as the man who gave up at RFC.

I disagee AB there is no player bigger than the manger of the club.

i am not saying that bf is bigger than the manager i am saying that plg resided to the fact he wanted to leave before the barrygate scandal

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Lennon may have had a point but who cares? If the players hadn't rallied round Bazza then we may not have finnished in the top six.

I'll say it again...there is absolutely no reason to say that ...we were second when PLG left. To suggest we would have finished outside the top six is ridiculous and you lose all credibility in saying it.

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So what was the challenge?

I'm with Manti after such a long and enjoyable read I found myself struggling to find the point of the thread, enjoyable as it is.

Tbh I didn't even think it was a good read, I lost the will to live after a few minutes.

Minutes I might add that I can never get back.

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