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* The Generic Laugh at celtc Thread *


dummiesoot

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I was sent a parcel last Christmas.

I didn't recognise the handwriting, it felt heavy, so, as yet, I've still to open it as I fear I could be killed, maimed, or both maimed and killed then maimed again in a second explosive-device-type explosion which would leave me limping and badly maimed.

I'm convinced it could be either:

A: A gross of assorted bullets (in various colours).

B: A nail-filled explosive device (finger nails, toe nails, etc).

C: A bag of dog shit wrapped in fireworks and triggered by someone lighting the end of one of the bangers..........er, which in this case would be me.

D: All of the above.

It's been 4-months since this parcel arrived and although I've been tempted many a time to contact Plod or the Post Office anti-exploding-parcel section, I haven't done so.

Given recent events - maybe I should.

PS. As a footnote, my elderly aunt (who always send a Christmas present) hasn't spoken to me since January.

Coincidence or what? :rolleyes:

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Considering the amount of 'bombs' that are supposed to have been sent since the start of this season alone, and not one of them has reached their destination, basically proves the whole thing is a farce. The Royal Mail, Customs, whoever else cannot intercept every single parcel and there have been people in the past, much more high profile and important than a rank little twat managing a shitty football club, who have recieved parcels and been injured by them. They're pushing it too far now, and it just doesn't strike me as being credible.

If I'm wrong and Lemon gets blown to bits.... well at least I'll be wrong.

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