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A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into

Asda in Dundee with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at

them all the way through the entrance.

The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Asda

Nice children you've got there -- are they twins?"

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl:

"Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest, he's 9 and the younger

one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're

twins?..... Do you think they look alike, ya dickead?"

"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe

anyone would s**g you twice!"

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