Rikki Brown

[davy1shoe 63]

Rangers-daft Rikki signed for Celtic Boys Club at the age of 14.

But his feelings of unease at the Catholic club had nothing to do with being Protestant.

He was trained by Jim Torbett, who was later convicted of abusing young players at Parkhead, including Scotland ace Alan Brazil.

The 54-year-old says: "Torbett was always offering to rub ointment on the boys' legs in the winter and stuff, while he used to hang around the showers. I never put two and two together until Alan Brazil later blew the lid on it.

Read more: http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/mattmeets/3542780/Matt-meets-Rikki-Brown-Ill-always-be-a-schemie-at-heart.html#ixzz1KPQ0ef4P

[brissybear 50]

I've always liked him..gets tore into Galloway a lot.

[gunslinger 270]

his brother worked in tennents i think.

[KeepBelieving1872 64]

Don't like most of that article... effectively another article highlighting the abuse Rangers fans have dished out.

It totally is open season.

[Alwaysblue 709]

he went to my School - Whitehill - so its a fair assumption he is one of us

[saintbob1969 1,509]

Don't like most of that article... effectively another article highlighting the abuse Rangers fans have dished out.

It totally is open season.

Whit are you on?

[davy1shoe 63]

COMEDY writer Rikki Brown grew up during the gang wars in Glasgow's rough Easterhouse estate in the 60s.

But Rikki - who has worked for BBC shows including Chewin' The Fat and Only An Excuse - still saw the funny side.

In part one of exclusive extracts from his hilarious new book Frankie Vaughan Ate My Hamster, Rikki recalls the city's religious divide and reveals he ended up at death's door shortly after moving into the scheme...

IN 1961 we began our new life in Easterhouse at 45 Wardie Road in a close with five other families.

We hadn't been there very long when Mormon missionaries started appearing in the area - surely a bad omen?

They were very clean cut and immaculately dressed, and were also willing to answer questions like "Are youse mental?" and "Do you know the Osmonds?"

It must have been a pretty pointless exercise because everyone in Easterhouse was either a Protestant or a Catholic and had no intention of ever becoming anything else.

That summer before my first day at school I was taken into town and kitted out with a uniform for the start of my education experience at Wellhouse School.

I was bought a blazer that was about seven sizes too big as most parents, like mine, would say "you'll grow into it"... aye, when I'm 12.

But as a pre-going-to-school treat my parents had taken me to Calderpark Zoo where I caught Scarlet Fever. This was a death's door scenario in the early sixties.

However, even almost dying of Scarlet Fever was worth it because I enjoyed the day at the zoo.

I'd seen elephants before - at the annual Christmas Circus and Carnival in the Kelvin Hall - although I should perhaps say that I'd smelled elephants before because the whole Kelvin Hall smelt of elephant crap.

I defy any Glaswegian who, for whatever reason, comes in contact with the smell of elephant crap and doesn't immediately think "Kelvin Hall".

Scarlet Fever kept me off school for a year. But, despite being 12 months behind, I came first in the class. Maybe I was a genius - either that or the rest of my class of 1963/64 were effing idiots.

You could tell a parent's taste in home décor by the wallpaper they'd covered their kid's school books in.

You'd also know a fellow pupil's father's income by looking at the price on their dinner ticket.

If your father had a good job then 4/6d was printed on the ticket. Not so good then you paid 1/3d.

And if their father was unemployed they were issued with a free dinner ticket.

To make sure everyone knew you were skint the free dinner tickets were a different colour.

There was no sensitivity when it came to the nit nurse either. If she found you had nits, she'd shave your head.

If you had impetigo, she painted your lips with violet.

One unfortunate girl in my class, whose name was Kim, not only had nits and impetigo, but she also had scabies.

Kids can be cruel and with the Lone Ranger being on telly at the time, she ended up being called Kimo Scabby for the rest of her time at primary.

I was raised a Protestant but religion was completely beyond me.

At four o'clock each day after school the Proddies and Catholics from the neighbouring school would gather on a hillside to throw clods of turf at each other.

Stepping back in time ... outside his first home Rikki discovers that things have changed a lot on the Easterhouse estate today

The Catholics would shout, "Proddie dogs eat the frogs," and we'd shout back, "Catholic rats eat the cats," and they'd retort, "Naw, we don't, this is Friday so we're having fish." It never got any nastier than that, not initially anyway.

We'd see the Catholic kids being taken to the chapel - the wee boys in suits, and the wee girls in mini wedding dresses.

We didn't know it was their Communion, we just thought they married young.

When I moved to Easthall School my teacher, Mr McFarlane, asked what I wanted to be when I grew up - without hesitation, "A binman." Why?

Well, for a start they got to ride on the back of the bin lorries.

Mr McFarlane asked me to name me one famous binman.

Well, there was one - Rakey Russell, the ultimate midgie man.

Rakey became a legend because of his ability to find riches amongst the rubbish, and he would share his soup from a flask with us on cold winter mornings and for that he was well-liked.

His back garden was like the yard in Steptoe And Son as every treasure he found had a use and he could fix almost anything.

A broken chair, a burst couch, he even found a use for old 78rpm records by melting them and moulding them into plant pots for his garden.

Basically, what other people threw away he treated like the lost treasure of the Incas.

Rakey lived with his brother, who was simply known as The Knifeman.

That's because he went around the scheme with a whetstone on a wooden trolley that he'd made for sharpening knives.

He'd blow a bugle to indicate his presence and, for sixpence, he'd sharpen any knife on the whetstone that he operated with a foot pedal.

He always drew a decent-sized crowd of kids who gathered to watch the sparks and go "ooooh".

But he ended up in trouble with the police after they got a tip off that he was sharpening steel combs for gang members.

They tried to get around laws regarding the carrying of offensive weapons by having the implement of a haircare regime sharpened into what was called a "steelie".

One evening when I was 11, it fell to me to prepare the family dinner as my parents were late coming home from work.

Back then there were no worries about leaving an 11-year-old in charge of a chip pan.

Although, in retrospect, there should have been because I put the chip pan on, but thanks to a particularly interesting segment on Blue Peter about the new Churchill tank, I completely forgot about it.

When I eventually smelt the smoke I had the presence of mind to get my young brother Martin, who was six, out onto the veranda along with the budgie in his cage - my thinking being that budgies and small brothers are especially prone to the effects of smoke inhalation.

Then my dad burst through the door. He'd been coming along the road from work and saw my brother and the budgie on the veranda and whiffs of smoke coming out through the door.

I didn't even get into much trouble. I think my folks realised they'd put too much responsibility on such young shoulders.

But when I told Mr McFarlane what had happened he was incredulous.

Give him his due, he devoted almost a whole afternoon to fire prevention so that everyone else in the class would know how to put out a chip pan fire.

We were taught French in school on the TV. The school's television was enormous, a giant, 22-inch, black and white job encased in a wooden cabinet on long metal legs that was wheeled into the classroom by the headmaster.

He didn't trust the jannie with his new piece of state-of-the-art kit.

The headie would plug it in, position it in front of the class and leave Mr McFarlane to supervise the lesson.

The problem with the French language programme was the presenter, Madame Anne Slack, and her puppets, Clicko and Patapoof.

Her surname alone was enough to produce sniggers, but every time she said the name Patapoof, that was it. Howls of derision.

This led to Mr McFarlane running round smashing his belt off desks and threatening to belt us if we didn't calm down.

But we were way past reason, especially when Madame Anne Slack pleaded with us to repeat after her: "Je m'appelle Patapoof".

That was met with a united chorus of "p*** off".

The whole class got the the belt for that before we even had time to say, "Pardon my French."

Read more: http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/scotlandfeatures/3545689/Rikki-Brown-We-didnt-know-Catholic-kids-had-a-Commumion-Daywe-just-thought-they-married-young.html#mySunComments#ixzz1Kej4Mf2E

[Martin Luther 53]

The most telling thing about this article is the word bastard is covered up but he most offensive word ever in the history of the universe FENIAN isnt in a family newspaper of all places.

How did those guys shouting at Rikki know that he thought Ireland has a natural right to independence, and secondly, that that right could be won only by an armed revolution.

[WadeWilson 4,670]

he went to my School - Whitehill - so its a fair assumption he is one of us

So did I. But only to do my Highers because the bastard council closed down Cranhill Secondary.

When were you there, mate?

[WadeWilson 4,670]

The most telling thing about this article is the word bastard is covered up but he most offensive word ever in the history of the universe FENIAN isnt in a family newspaper of all places.

How did those guys shouting at Rikki know that he thought Ireland has a natural right to independence, and secondly, that that right could be won only by an armed revolution.

This makes no sense.

[Jimbo. 952]

He was trained by Jim Torbett, who was later convicted of abusing young players at Parkhead, including Scotland ace Alan Brazil.

The 54-year-old says: "Torbett was always offering to rub ointment on the boys' legs in the winter and stuff, while he used to hang around the showers. I never put two and two together until Alan Brazil blew the lid on it.''

That was a typical Sunday morning for Torbett.

[Alwaysblue 709]

So did I. But only to do my Highers because the bastard council closed down Cranhill Secondary.

When were you there, mate?

Long time ago - left 1968 - I'm an old timer!

[KingKai 439]

Long time ago - left 1968 - I'm an old timer!

I dont recall him at Whitehill... I left in '73 !

[Martin Luther 53]

This makes no sense.

To a moron maybe.

[trueblue72 8]

Had a look through his blog, its pretty funny actually.

He comes across as bitter in that article though, when he slags off the limmy show and burnistoun.

Sure they are hit and miss, but didn't think it was the done thing for comedians to have a go at other comedians..

[superkai 54]

Who's Rikki Brown??