Bluepeter9 5,167 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 When the sheep were having financial difficulties a few years ago one of the stories to hit the papers was they were stopped making toast to cut the bills! I want to know if the players at Murray Park are still allowed to use the toaster (or do we even have one) - Is Papac allowed to use his GHD Hair Straightners after training or Davie Weir his Nasal Hair Shaver?Given the alledged paupacy (had to be VERY careful of the spelling there) of Mr Whyte and our Club I want to know that we are doing all we can to cut our costs and pay the tax man/lawyers / Bain/etc. the money they are all (alledgedly) due?So how can we save money?Obviously banning the players using hair dryers etc is a huge start. Should the players take (and pay for ) their own cars to away games and save the bus costs?Wash their own kit and save the kit mans salary (Although my wife says she will do it for nothing just to sniff Weirs shorts after a game??? - sad woman never sniffs my kegs! )Obviously they should all pay for there own lunch and can get decent meal deals at the local ASDA or COOP or make sannies at home.A few sheep cropping the grass would save a linesman or two on match days and do we actually pay the grounds people to do that thing with the forks after the warm up and at half time?Obviously we still have to find the money for the cheerleaders but shorter skirts may save on material?The tannoy (or annoy) system should just GO!Anyone else got any ideas for saving cash? - Cutting Edu's wages for masquerading as a midfielder is already (probably) being considered. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyc06 6,927 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Hahahaha :lol: Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
caseyjones 3,009 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Get you to do a comedy tour to raise funds. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirrhillLoyal 318 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianBacon 2,088 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 1: Sell off Murray Park for housing and train at Bellahouston Park.2: Get GCC to cut down several thousand trees to accomodate this plan (they did it for the Pope). 3: Make them open-air training sessions and allow the Rangers-supporting public to view them (for a fee).4: Allow the players to sign autographs (for a fee) after each session and sell club kit on the sidelines.5: Sell blades of grass from the training area (for a huge fee) to non-Glasgow-based supporters (including those overseas) unable to attend these training sessions.6: Film these training sessions and make them available (pay-per-view) over the Internet.7: There is no '7'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluepeter9 5,167 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Get you to do a comedy tour to raise funds.Ah ha that has all the making of another thread as this was about saving money not alternate income streams but as its a good idea here we go:Alternate Income Streams:Obviously there should be a fee for accessing the bog and extra if you need a shite!On the spot fines for anyone smoking in the bog (and that should generate enough income to buy a marquee player each year)We should introduce parking meters in the streets around Ibrox and charge 25p for the first 30 minutes and £5 after 1hr 45 min - although that may generate and even larger exodus on the 85th min than exists at the moment.Oh wait that gives me another idea for a huge fund raiser - an exit fee for anyone wanting to leave before the final whistle.Obviously all the charity collections at Ibrox for causes extrenal to the team need stopped and all bucket income raised straight into the RFC bank.Fanzine sellers should, of course, donate all profits to the club.The dancing and singing section should be charged more as they are having way more fun than the rest of it and should pay for that privilage.Press conferences: we should charge a fee for our manager / players attending and a double fee for the BBC until they take a more supportive line.I am sure there are other folks ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluepeter9 5,167 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 1: Sell off Murray Park for housing and train at Bellahouston Park.2: Get GCC to cut down several thousand trees to accomodate this plan (they did it for the Pope). 3: Make them open-air training sessions and allow the Rangers-supporting public to view them (for a fee).4: Allow the players to sign autographs (for a fee) after each session and sell club kit on the sidelines.5: Sell blades of grass from the training area (for a huge fee) to non-Glasgow-based supporters (including those overseas) unable to attend these training sessions.6: Film these training sessions and make them available (pay-per-view) over the Internet.7: There is no '7'. Fits in really well for the alternate income streams - I like there being no Number 7! but is that not a bit anti-them and will the police be at your door for not wanting (L)arse-ons number acknowledged? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluepeter9 5,167 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 If we charged our players for their Physio time that would also be a massive income boost! or perhaprs our coaches for any staff not playing? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cstamomusa 3,812 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Ah ha that has all the making of another thread as this was about saving money not alternate income streams but as its a good idea here we go:Alternate Income Streams:Obviously there should be a fee for accessing the bog and extra if you need a shite!On the spot fines for anyone smoking in the bog (and that should generate enough income to buy a marquee player each year)We should introduce parking meters in the streets around Ibrox and charge 25p for the first 30 minutes and £5 after 1hr 45 min - although that may generate and even larger exodus on the 85th min than exists at the moment.Oh wait that gives me another idea for a huge fund raiser - an exit fee for anyone wanting to leave before the final whistle.Obviously all the charity collections at Ibrox for causes extrenal to the team need stopped and all bucket income raised straight into the RFC bank.Fanzine sellers should, of course, donate all profits to the club.The dancing and singing section should be charged more as they are having way more fun than the rest of it and should pay for that privilage.Press conferences: we should charge a fee for our manager / players attending and a double fee for the BBC until they take a more supportive line.I am sure there are other folks ?Can't believe you missed the biggest all time earners that would get as a whole new team:- A swear box and pay to be allowed to sing the BB. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluepeter9 5,167 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Fffs how did I miss the swear box idea Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimfanciesthedude 25,246 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 fine every single player that has a cunt of a first touch 500 quid, theres at least 50 grand a weekevery player that passes to an opponent pays a grand for every pass, whittaker will soon be remortgaging his fucking house to pay us back, edu will be selling a kidney, and broadfoot will just refuse to get the balla player that doesnt hit the target from inside the penalty area pays a grand a time, theres another 10 grand a gameanyone caught hoofing the ball pays a grand everytime they do it, sorry davie old boy, you'll be better off financially staying on the sidelines Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zappa 358 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 2: Get GCC to cut down several thousand trees to accomodate this plan (they did it for the Pope). The official GCC line on this is that the trees just fell at the Pope's feet, but there are some doubts about this. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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