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The Clown is at it Again!


OlegKuznetsov

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In a recent article, the curduroy clown writes:

Fitness regime pays off as Jean-Claude Darcheville returns to form

Graham Spiers

Jean-Claude Darcheville was unfairly labelled "a spent force" on one radio football phone-in recently. Yet having started just four of Rangers’ 22 Clydesdale Bank Premier League matches so far this season, the French striker claims to have at last found his fitness and form, thanks to a special fitness programme Rangers have put him on.

Darcheville played for 63 minutes against St Mirren on Saturday, his third appearance in seven days for Rangers, and, more encouragingly, his second successive start. Following injuries to his Achilles and then a hamstring, which have dogged him for six months, the striker is hoping he will at last be injury free.

Unintentionally, Darcheville has aroused fears among Rangers fans of the old, infamous Ibrox injury jinx by claiming that, before his arrival at the club last summer, he was hardly injured at all.

“I was five years at Bordeaux and I never had a lot of injuries, but as soon as I came here I had problems with my Achilles and then with my hamstring,†Darcheville said. “I have been injured a lot in my first six months at Rangers – it has been a bad time for me. So now it is important to me that I stay fit.

“It wasn’t like this at Bordeaux. I think I played something like 40 games a season in my five years there. So the Rangers fans have not seen me at my full capacity.â€

Walter Smith, the Rangers manager, has never hidden his admiration for Darcheville, but claimed recently that “perhaps we’ve been asking too much of himâ€, as Rangers have tried desperately to get the player fit. Smith sees Darcheville as the crucial foil to play off Kris Boyd or Steven Naismith.

Saturday was the first time that Darcheville had made three successive appearances for Rangers without breaking down, and the Frenchman says he is praying his injury afflictions are over.

“Now I want to play game after game, and I am speaking with the club’s medical staff,†Darcheville said. “I now have a fitness programme which I am following. I still need four or five games more before I am fully match-fit, and I need to be really fit, because of my style of play. I am always on the ball, always running, always trying to give 100 per cent. “At the moment I am only playing for one hour or for 70 minutes. But when I go out on to the pitch I want to give everything for the club.â€

Smith has never hidden his liking for what he sees in Darchevile. The striker is now 32 years old but the Rangers manager had planned to get two good seasons out of him in Glasgow.

“Jean-Claude gives us options, that’s what I like about him,†Smith said. “He is a natural partner for someone like Kris Boyd, because of the runs he makes and his good work-rate. We’ve just been unfortunate that, in his time here, we’ve yet to see the best of him.â€

Meanwhile, Smith confirmed his belief that Daniel Cousin’s proposed £3 million transfer to Fulham will finally be ratified this week. There is confusion over the legality of the deal under Fifa’s rules, due to Cousin having made a fleeting appearance for Lens before playing for Rangers, thus breaking the two-club rule in any one season for players. But Javier Mascherano was given dispensation by Fifa to sign for Liverpool having played for West Ham United and Corinthians in the same season.

Yes, Graham, I heard that phone in too.

Wasn't it you who "unfairly labelled [Darcheville] 'a spent force' ", actually? doh

What a clown!

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If only Gordon Ramsay was our PR spokesman!

GR - Sons of William, I am Gordon Ramsay.

Bain - Gordon Ramsay is seven feet tall.

GR - Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume that Queer hawk Spiers with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse.

GR - I AM Gordon Ramsay!

GR - And I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny.

GR - You have come to fight for freedom of speech, 'cause freedom of speech we no longer have. What would you do without freedom? Will you fight?

Murray - Fight? Against Spiers? No, we will run; and we will live

GR - Aye, fight and you may die a horrible necrophiliac death. Run and you'll live -- at least a while.

GR - And dying in your vineyard many years from now

GR - would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemy that

GR - they may take our lives, but they'll never take... our FREEDOM!

Bain & Murray hold hands affectionately and girlishly bow to Ramsay's wishes

Ramsay takes this as a cue to go out and tear of Spiers's poisonous head and shove it down his japseye

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Hey guys,

This may explain a few things, a few of my mates have a season ticket with "them" and say they have seen our beloved mr Spiers in with

supporters... maybe he is a closet tim?

He's neither a closet gay or a closet tim

He's a fully paid up member to both camps, oohh errr

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If only Gordon Ramsay was our PR spokesman!

GR - Sons of William, I am Gordon Ramsay.

Bain - Gordon Ramsay is seven feet tall.

GR - Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume that Queer hawk Spiers with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse.

GR - I AM Gordon Ramsay!

GR - And I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny.

GR - You have come to fight for freedom of speech, 'cause freedom of speech we no longer have. What would you do without freedom? Will you fight?

Murray - Fight? Against Spiers? No, we will run; and we will live

GR - Aye, fight and you may die a horrible necrophiliac death. Run and you'll live -- at least a while.

GR - And dying in your vineyard many years from now

GR - would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemy that

GR - they may take our lives, but they'll never take... our FREEDOM!

Bain & Murray hold hands affectionately and girlishly bow to Ramsay's wishes

Ramsay takes this as a cue to go out and tear of Spiers's poisonous head and shove it down his japseye

Surprised Boab hasn't tried to sue me for copyright yet :D

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