Westy 0 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 sell your ticket and put the money on gers to win and then go out after you finish work and get rat arsed with your winnings Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingKirk 25,746 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Get a sick note from about wednesday onwards, failing that become a taxi driver n work like fuck to get enough money to cover u, from friday night to Monday morning. am working 2 shifts a day to cover for the weekend off Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluepeter9 5,167 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Omg youth of today!! You take a sickie!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortos 8 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Get your Mum to phone your work on the Friday saying, "Hello, this is Alan's Mum. Alan's got a tummy upset and won't be in for a few days. In fact, I'm understating it by calling it a tummy upset. He's been shitting for Britain since last night. It's coming out his arse faster than he can wipe it up from the last visit. We've got shite on the floors, walls and ceilings of every room in the house thanks to this tummy upset and my back garden drying green is full to overflowing with Alan's clothes as he's shit on everything that he owns. Underpants, trousers, shirts, socks...you name it he's fired vat-loads of shit over them in the last 24-hours. My family and I are at our wits end - the boy has no more shit to give....yet more flies out of him by the hour......indeed, there he goes running past me again for another shit session (She cries out, "Alan....just use the bucket under the stair cupboard son......I'm still trying to get the shit marks off the bath from this morning!"). Where was I? Yes, anyway, as you can hear we've got a bit of a crisis in our hands and therefore I felt it only right to tell you that Alan won't be in for some time......at least not until we get to the bottom (Cries out "Oops.....sorry Alan!") of this tummy upset."I may have overgilded the lilly ever-so-slightly.......but you'll get the drift.PS. If you can't convince yer' Maw' to do this dastardly but necessary deed, stick your baws in a vice and phone them your self.I guarantee the voice pitch will be high enough. I was laughing do much I couldn't even get to the end of the post. My missus thinks I'm nuts. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davie2909 21 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Rangers dont pay the bills mate unless you have another job to goto i wouldnt risk losing my job over it TBH Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canuckbear089 4 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 tell her youve got a really bad case of diareah and you wont be able to make it in lol. ALWAYS works because its not as if you can go to the doctor for that. I remember during our Euro Cup final run against Fiorentina I worked for some shithole Pizza place while I was in University at the time. I wouldve been ontime had the game not gone to Extra time so I called them and told them I was going to be late(cant remember the excuse I made but I think it was something about helping my friend move). anyway, I was at the pub watching the match with a few friends (one of them a rangers fan, the other a Scum fan, and the other a Chelsea fan lol), and we ended up having a few too many. During the Penalty shootout ended up buying two rounds of shots after Novo put his goal in, got carried away in a sing-song and then just never showed up to work Funny story though, Two hours later we're outside for a smoke and I see my boss on his way home on his bike. He more or less tells me im fired and we start giving him the bird and shouting "who are ya, who are ya". Honestly one of the classier nights Ive ever had lol. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RangersMedia 35,961 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 I've only ever missed 1 big Rangers match over the years. Always called in sick if I couldn't get it off work. Had a family funeral on the day of the NYD OF game this year, was thankful really after I heard the result. Pull a sicky. As long as you're permanent staff and have a contract etc, they can't sack you for that. Unless you're seen on TV, then it's gross misconduct . Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougie_Scott87 0 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Try and take a photo of her, then find a good Photoshoper. Tell said photoshoper to photoshop her head on the body of a woman shagging a dog or whatever, im sure there is plenty of sick shit online so be creative. Once you have your photoshop picture mail it to her saying you have back up copies and if you are not allowed to go to the match tell her these photos will find there way in to the public. I know its a little out there but im confident it will work Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonel Mustard 380 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Here's a radical thought...how about just saying you're not a fucking slave, and telling them you are taking the day off without pay.It doesn't seem hard to me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougie_Scott87 0 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Here's a radical thought...how about just saying you're not a fucking slave, and telling them you are taking the day off without pay.It doesn't seem hard to me.I think my idea of blackmail by photoshop is the more viable option. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaffbear 4,101 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 We're top of the league.That says more about how pish Scottish fitba is and not how good we are.Malmo and Maribor proved how pish we are. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
linfield1690 4,249 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Right then there is an easy solution here just arrange for a couple of rm members to hold up your shop that morning it wont look like your trying to get off for an old firm match btw how much does your bookies hold on old firm day? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
caseyjones 3,009 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 That says more about how pish Scottish fitba is and not how good we are.Malmo and Maribor proved how pish we are.No argument from me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianBacon 2,088 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 I'm being drawn away from the "Get yer'Mum tae' phone-in" option and am seriously liking the Photoshop suggestion. There's loads on the internet.Her head transposed onto a pole dancer's body, for example.(The pole dancer need not be Polish - she could be from any of the eastern European countries) Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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