thistleman 52 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 i was at the manky hoose years ago at the pie stall when a guy walks up and starts to shit in the rubbish binthe polis grab him and he said the burger wis rotten and he was just giving it back they dragged him away with his troosers roon his ankles a wis pishin ma self laugin fur ages Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwhiteandblue 3,330 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Pyoor dead brilliant man Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistleman 52 Posted December 1, 2012 Author Share Posted December 1, 2012 Pyoor dead brilliant manbored jist tryin tae brighten the night up Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLE SUPER WILBERT 2,475 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 That is mental! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwhiteandblue 3,330 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 bored jist tryin tae brighten the night upFair enough. No seen anything funnier than someone shiting in a bin though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Nosed Babe 20,979 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 I don't think anyone will be able to top seeing that! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistleman 52 Posted December 1, 2012 Author Share Posted December 1, 2012 I don't think anyone will be able to top seeing that!ffs i was only lookin for anybody with a funny story worth a try Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpidermansGaffer 2,552 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Was at a Rangers v St Mirren in the early 80's at Love St, when at half time, a pished bear was getting led out of the ground by two polis. As they came round behind the goals, the bears in the crowd were giving the polis dogs abuse. The pished guy must have taken heart at the moral support of us fellow bears as in a moment of drink fuelled madness, he nutted one of the polis!! Cue massive cheers from us, poor bugger probably got a right hiding however... Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Nosed Babe 20,979 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Nutting the polis when you are outnumbered.....not a good idea.I remember during an Old Firm game one of that shower was being huckled and getting taken to the Ibrox cells. He was passing by the main stand and so decided to challenge the whole main stand to a fight.Needless to say he never got to make good on it! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mabawsa 888 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Went to Munich 1989 with some mates for game v Bayern at their previous home at the Olympic Stadium. All the way from Paisley by bus to Munich . Took about 24 hours for the journey as it was before the Chunnel was completed. So bus , ferry and bus. Started off bevvying in Glasgow then headed over to Paisley for good few more. The pub we went to in Paisley happened to have an over 30's night on so treated it like a mini-Swavvy Savvy . Was smashed when I got on the bus. Back in those days I wore a fecking shellsuit! On the bus I sat / collapsed down beside a student tee-totaller guy. I rabbited on for about 30 mins until we where around Motherwell on the M8. Then It happened. I puked everywhere , all over , all over my shellsuit! I then subsequently fell asleep until we reached Sandbach services on the M6. That's a good 250 miles later. Woke up and the stench was overwhelming. The student guy next to me was hanging into the ailse to breath. I had chunky bits all over the shellsuit. I excused myself at Sandbach services , went to the washroom , stripped off and washed the shell suit under the taps. Then blow dried the shell suit under the hand dryer, stuck it back on and wore it a further 48 hours until I got back home. Lynx wisnae around then! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
govanblue 16,847 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Went to Munich 1989 with some mates for game v Bayern at their previous home at the Olympic Stadium. All the way from Paisley by bus to Munich . Took about 24 hours for the journey as it was before the Chunnel was completed. So bus , ferry and bus. Started off bevvying in Glasgow then headed over to Paisley for good few more. The pub we went to in Paisley happened to have an over 30's night on so treated it like a mini-Swavvy Savvy . Was smashed when I got on the bus. Back in those days I wore a fecking shellsuit! On the bus I sat / collapsed down beside a student tee-totaller guy. I rabbited on for about 30 mins until we where around Motherwell on the M8. Then It happened. I puked everywhere , all over , all over my shellsuit! I then subsequently fell asleep until we reached Sandbach services on the M6. That's a good 250 miles later. Woke up and the stench was overwhelming. The student guy next to me was hanging into the ailse to breath. I had chunky bits all over the shellsuit. I excused myself at Sandbach services , went to the washroom , stripped off and washed the shell suit under the taps. Then blow dried the shell suit under the hand dryer, stuck it back on and wore it a further 48 hours until I got back home. Lynx wisnae around then! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart54 218 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Went to Munich 1989 with some mates for game v Bayern at their previous home at the Olympic Stadium. All the way from Paisley by bus to Munich . Took about 24 hours for the journey as it was before the Chunnel was completed. So bus , ferry and bus. Started off bevvying in Glasgow then headed over to Paisley for good few more. The pub we went to in Paisley happened to have an over 30's night on so treated it like a mini-Swavvy Savvy . Was smashed when I got on the bus. Back in those days I wore a fecking shellsuit! On the bus I sat / collapsed down beside a student tee-totaller guy. I rabbited on for about 30 mins until we where around Motherwell on the M8. Then It happened. I puked everywhere , all over , all over my shellsuit! I then subsequently fell asleep until we reached Sandbach services on the M6. That's a good 250 miles later. Woke up and the stench was overwhelming. The student guy next to me was hanging into the ailse to breath. I had chunky bits all over the shellsuit. I excused myself at Sandbach services , went to the washroom , stripped off and washed the shell suit under the taps. Then blow dried the shell suit under the hand dryer, stuck it back on and wore it a further 48 hours until I got back home. Lynx wisnae around then!Cheers mabawsa - that's the kebab in the bin! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mabawsa 888 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Cheers mabawsa - that's the kebab in the bin!Don't mate. I'll have it. I have a strong stomach . Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
govanblue 16,847 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Long long ago (back when you could smoke upstairs on the buses), we were heading to Ibrox on the 34 bus.There was an alky up the back (it was Catweazel for those of you from C/Milk) drinking from his can of Supie (not sure how you spell that, never written it before)and chanting:"Woah-oh-oh-oh ... Rangers!" "Woah-oh-oh-oh ... Rangers!" "Woah-oh-oh-oh ... Ran- Bleugh!" - and he puked into his can of Supie.He looked at us all and proclaimed "That's a bastard, innit"Then he wiped the puke off the top of the can and carried on drinking - ye cannae waste a can of Supie after all! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart54 218 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Don't mate. I'll have it. I have a strong stomach .Not judging by your story you haven't. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BEE 4,880 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Similar thing happened on a bus I used to frequent only the guy made a pool in his tshirt - somehow managed to get it off without covering himself in sick Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart54 218 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Long long ago (back when you could smoke upstairs on the buses), we were heading to Ibrox on the 34 bus.There was an alky up the back (it was Catweazel for those of you from C/Milk) drinking from his can of Supie (not sure how you spell that, never written it before)and chanting:"Woah-oh-oh-oh ... Rangers!""Woah-oh-oh-oh ... Rangers!""Woah-oh-oh-oh ... Ran- Bleugh!" - and he puked into his can of Supie.He looked at us all and proclaimed "That's a bastard, innit"Then he wiped the puke off the top of the can and carried on drinking - ye cannae waste a can of Supie after all! Aye, and thanks for that little ditty as well. Anybody got any stories that ARN'T 'boak' related? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
govanblue 16,847 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Aye, and thanks for that little ditty as well. Anybody got any stories that ARN'T 'boak' related?Hmm let me think...Oh aye - there was this one time when I had a really bad case of the squits....Nah, maybe later. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmojorisin 13,669 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Last game of the season 1986/87 v st midden I think it was...we were heading to ibrox on a bus with a Swally and started pissing in an empty wine bottle and gave it to a jaike as we got off the bus....it was the old style bus with the open end and as the bus pulled away all we heard was "dirty basturts" as he took a swig then threw it from the bus.....fuck him the auld cunt had a swinging jimmy dangling from his neck. Was on tv that day too Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dexiboy 157 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Was on a bus heading to porkhead for a game no toilet everycunt choking fur a pish a boy finishes his bottle of shit cider then starts to piss in the empty bottle.every cunt is worse now after seeing him piss he then volunteers to empty the bottle out the window to let some1 else piss in it not a good idea on the motorway sticks the bottle out the window starts to pour away piss starts flying back in the window all over his face funny as fuck poor cunt sitting covered in his own piss.i nearly pissed myself with laughter Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Nosed Babe 20,979 Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Was on a bus heading to porkhead for a game no toilet everycunt choking fur a pish a boy finishes his bottle of shit cider then starts to piss in the empty bottle.every cunt is worse now after seeing him piss he then volunteers to empty the bottle out the window to let some1 else piss in it not a good idea on the motorway sticks the bottle out the window starts to pour away piss starts flying back in the window all over his face funny as fuck poor cunt sitting covered in his own piss.i nearly pissed myself with laughterWell at least he tried Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
govanblue 16,847 Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Was on a bus heading to porkhead for a game no toilet everycunt choking fur a pish a boy finishes his bottle of shit cider then starts to piss in the empty bottle.every cunt is worse now after seeing him piss he then volunteers to empty the bottle out the window to let some1 else piss in it not a good idea on the motorway sticks the bottle out the window starts to pour away piss starts flying back in the window all over his face funny as fuck poor cunt sitting covered in his own piss.i nearly pissed myself with laughterThere was a similar story in Seventy2 Mag - on the bus to Barcelona 72.I guess we just never learn eh? Anyway - empty that bottle will ye? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
choochooblue 342 Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Went to Munich 1989 with some mates for game v Bayern at their previous home at the Olympic Stadium. All the way from Paisley by bus to Munich . Took about 24 hours for the journey as it was before the Chunnel was completed. So bus , ferry and bus. Started off bevvying in Glasgow then headed over to Paisley for good few more. The pub we went to in Paisley happened to have an over 30's night on so treated it like a mini-Swavvy Savvy . Was smashed when I got on the bus. Back in those days I wore a fecking shellsuit! On the bus I sat / collapsed down beside a student tee-totaller guy. I rabbited on for about 30 mins until we where around Motherwell on the M8. Then It happened. I puked everywhere , all over , all over my shellsuit! I then subsequently fell asleep until we reached Sandbach services on the M6. That's a good 250 miles later. Woke up and the stench was overwhelming. The student guy next to me was hanging into the ailse to breath. I had chunky bits all over the shellsuit. I excused myself at Sandbach services , went to the washroom , stripped off and washed the shell suit under the taps. Then blow dried the shell suit under the hand dryer, stuck it back on and wore it a further 48 hours until I got back home. Lynx wisnae around then!oh !!.... And dont forget mabawsa to tell the lads in BD when u arrived in munich , u headed to a pub/whorehoose where u ended up accosted by a lady of the night who was longing for your c*ck...and what was your reply ??....."ma mammy told me no tae talk tae wummin like you "..and you promptly left , go on Deny it ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaiser1041 9,088 Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Last game of the season 86/87 i was standing at the bus stop when it stopped and a guy handed me a bottle of what i thought was wine it turned out it was piss so i shouted ya bastards.thank fuck i had ma swinging jimmy hanging fae ma chin Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwhiteandblue 3,330 Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Wit the fuck is a swinging jimmy? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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