Colonel Mustard 380 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Training stint 1.Right everybody, gather round. We're going to have long ball practice. This is our most important weapon, so everybody try and get it right.Jela...stand up at the other end of the pitch and get ready to do a heider oan...Laffs, you get ready to guess where Jela's heider is going to land.Greegs...get to edge of the box...you'll be first to launch one. Boca...you get ready to punt just after Greegs.Anybody that wins the challenge against those u17 defenders against you, gets a start on Saturday.Fire away boys...Training stint 2.We're daein' joogling today lads.I need Whitts, Mo, Laffs, and Jela up here in a line.OK boys. We're going to play passes to you, and you've all to try running for a bit with the ball, while bobbling the ball from knee to knee, or ankle to ankle. It would be good if you can also practice leaving the ball behind you when you're running, and practice going back to tackle for it with an opponent.Let's go...Training stint 3.This one's for our best tacklers, lads.Can I have Mo, Jig, Whitts, and Laffs over here please.Laffs, you go and practice fouling a defender while he's under pressure in his own half, and the rest of you come over here...Whitts...sometimes you tend to leave your legs closed when up against a winger. Go over there and practice standing off an attacker, and spreading your legs so that you can get megged at least once every game.Mo and Jig...I want you to imagine a 10 yard circle around an opponent, and don't encroach in that area when trying to put in a tackle. You can flick a leg out when a pass is made, but try and give your opponent enough time to make his own mistakes. Just remember that an opponent will pass as shitieley as us if we give him space, and he'll gift the ball back to us eventually.Right, that's enough for today, but here's tomorrow's session...it's going to be practicing passing slowly. We'll be perfecting taking 4 or 5 touches on the ball before rolling it slowly to a team mate, so that it attracts an opponent in for a tackle. We'll be making sure that everyone perfects this skill before we play another game. Go and get your monster munch guys. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PRW. 5,631 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Fuck up. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLawMan 6,240 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Fuck up. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonel Mustard 380 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 Fuck up.No use in shooting the messenger.If it was up to me, I'd rather we practiced pass and move, and forget the big punt up the park forevermore.However, it looks like our training staff maybe think the opposite.Auchenhowie shouldn't be there to practice punts up the park......or is it that our players are not using what they practice all week, and doing whatever the fuck they want? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichardFoster 41 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Oh shut the fuck up you fucking cunt. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueAndWhite 37 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I found it funny Though you forgot about part 4, joke time Genuinely wouldn't be surprised if they spent more time running than actually with a ball.We live in Scotland, afterall. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonel Mustard 380 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 I found it funny Though you forgot about part 4, joke time I didn't want to feature big Lee any more, but the Jig and Ally Laughorama could have been included, as you rightly say. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueAndWhite 37 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 People seem to think we are some sort of good team because we are sitting comfortably at the top. We aren't, we are fucking awful, as shown by the shambles that was our "European campaign". We lack the basics. We seem unable to pass and move, and have zero creativity in the midfield. Our midfield also feels the urge to sit of the opponents, which is rather annoying. Thankfully Celtic are just laughably bad.In saying this, there have been some encouraging performances of late. Don't get me wrong, I really couldn't care less how we win, as long as we do - but we are absolutely shite. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain1712 336 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 More negative pish !Exactly what did we lose ? Some folks just love a good moan Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulRFC1 115 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Its not how negative it is that bothers me.Its the fact you have tried so hard to be funny and failed badly. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneralCartmanLee 313 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Cringeworthy stuff...Did you read that back before posting and still decide it was funny ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coplandbear11 1,087 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I dread to think what this place would be like of we were 10 points behind the bheggars. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaffbear 4,104 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 The biggest problem is he is right... Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JograBear 1,074 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 haha would be more funny if not far from the truth. ;-) Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimgers 565 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 We are a work in progress at the moment, we still have a way to go before we can say this is our settled team, But i agree with the OP practice makes perfect and we need to practice our passing. Also stop letting teams dictate the play, we are allowing teams to become comfortable with the ball at Ibrox now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coplandbear11 1,087 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Also stop letting teams dictate the play, we are allowing teams to become comfortable with the ball at Ibrox now.Sportscene last night claimed St Mirren had 55% possession on Saturday. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Negri's Beard 1,423 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Chrsit almighty - do you take any joy from supporting Rangers? Have never seen anything but complaints and miserabilism from you on here. You can moan all you like about how we play but it's not been vastly different over the last few years and its hardly likely to change in the forseeable future - maybe we should play the freeflowing, exciting football that the Celtic play eh? Just accept that we aren't the most brilliant side and that we are going to slip up from time to time. The aresholes moaning now while we sit 10 points (or 7 points) clear are the same folks who'll be overjoyed when we get to our title winning game. Some folk. Have a fucking look at yourself Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluepeter9 5,167 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Training stint 1.Right everybody, gather round. We're going to have long ball practice. This is our most important weapon, so everybody try and get it right.Jela...stand up at the other end of the pitch and get ready to do a heider oan...Laffs, you get ready to guess where Jela's heider is going to land.Greegs...get to edge of the box...you'll be first to launch one. Boca...you get ready to punt just after Greegs.Anybody that wins the challenge against those u17 defenders against you, gets a start on Saturday.Fire away boys...Training stint 2.We're daein' joogling today lads.I need Whitts, Mo, Laffs, and Jela up here in a line.OK boys. We're going to play passes to you, and you've all to try running for a bit with the ball, while bobbling the ball from knee to knee, or ankle to ankle. It would be good if you can also practice leaving the ball behind you when you're running, and practice going back to tackle for it with an opponent.Let's go...Training stint 3.This one's for our best tacklers, lads.Can I have Mo, Jig, Whitts, and Laffs over here please.Laffs, you go and practice fouling a defender while he's under pressure in his own half, and the rest of you come over here...Whitts...sometimes you tend to leave your legs closed when up against a winger. Go over there and practice standing off an attacker, and spreading your legs so that you can get megged at least once every game.Mo and Jig...I want you to imagine a 10 yard circle around an opponent, and don't encroach in that area when trying to put in a tackle. You can flick a leg out when a pass is made, but try and give your opponent enough time to make his own mistakes. Just remember that an opponent will pass as shitieley as us if we give him space, and he'll gift the ball back to us eventually.Right, that's enough for today, but here's tomorrow's session...it's going to be practicing passing slowly. We'll be perfecting taking 4 or 5 touches on the ball before rolling it slowly to a team mate, so that it attracts an opponent in for a tackle. We'll be making sure that everyone perfects this skill before we play another game. Go and get your monster munch guys.What I like about this training is that it has led us to a team well clear at the top of the SPL although I dont think the youth would be involved in the training as they are to be ignored.Later in the season we have a masterclass from Craig Levin for Europe coming up where he teaches Ally and the squad how to play the 4-6-0 defence away from home to still get beat, but only narrowly, while hoping for a 0-0 result. Craig ays his inspiration was Walter but he wanted to take negativity to a whole new level.The club are also to put fans workshops on on how to politely clap the opposition, leave early to beat the traffic or catch the tube, and the art of selecting a whipping boy to blame all the ills on (said person to be rotated between a sub-squad of targets but must not be called Davis) (PS Yes - I Know its a lot of shit but as valid as some of the negativity and nonsense that gets spouted on here about our training, coaching and team) Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creampuff 22,628 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 This would be funny, had you typed anything funny. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingWilBEARy 4,319 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I don't get it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
graeme_4 35,275 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Cringeworthy stuff...Did you read that back before posting and still decide it was funny ?It wasn't funny, but I think what he was trying to say was:1. We rely on the longball. McGregor's punts and Boca's long ball didn't work at all on Sat.2. Midfield didn't press at all and at times we are very stationary. 3. Whittaker can't defend to save himself and regularly gets the pish taken by very average (or below average) SPL players.4. At times players look very sluggish. 5. Many of our players 'first touch' is severly lacking.Care to disagree with any of them? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdasyn 431 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Wow. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluepeter9 5,167 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It wasn't funny, but I think what he was trying to say was:1. We rely on the longball. McGregor's punts and Boca's long ball didn't work at all on Sat.2. Midfield didn't press at all and at times we are very stationary. 3. Whittaker can't defend to save himself and regularly gets the pish taken by very average (or below average) SPL players.4. At times players look very sluggish. 5. Many of our players 'first touch' is severly lacking.Care to disagree with any of them?1. Bollocks the odd long ball and we are up in arms 2. Midfield were 4 against 5 and pressed hard - just had a crap game3. Whittaker had at least two tackles where the player was through one on one if he hadn't have covered but lets ignore that4. Sluggish - wish I could run about like them 5. Just a bad day at the office - ever made mistakes ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebellsareblue82 15 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 This would be funny, had you typed anything funny. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunslinger 270 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Training stint 1.Right everybody, gather round. We're going to have long ball practice. This is our most important weapon, so everybody try and get it right.Jela...stand up at the other end of the pitch and get ready to do a heider oan...Laffs, you get ready to guess where Jela's heider is going to land.Greegs...get to edge of the box...you'll be first to launch one. Boca...you get ready to punt just after Greegs.Anybody that wins the challenge against those u17 defenders against you, gets a start on Saturday.Fire away boys...Training stint 2.We're daein' joogling today lads.I need Whitts, Mo, Laffs, and Jela up here in a line.OK boys. We're going to play passes to you, and you've all to try running for a bit with the ball, while bobbling the ball from knee to knee, or ankle to ankle. It would be good if you can also practice leaving the ball behind you when you're running, and practice going back to tackle for it with an opponent.Let's go...Training stint 3.This one's for our best tacklers, lads.Can I have Mo, Jig, Whitts, and Laffs over here please.Laffs, you go and practice fouling a defender while he's under pressure in his own half, and the rest of you come over here...Whitts...sometimes you tend to leave your legs closed when up against a winger. Go over there and practice standing off an attacker, and spreading your legs so that you can get megged at least once every game.Mo and Jig...I want you to imagine a 10 yard circle around an opponent, and don't encroach in that area when trying to put in a tackle. You can flick a leg out when a pass is made, but try and give your opponent enough time to make his own mistakes. Just remember that an opponent will pass as shitieley as us if we give him space, and he'll gift the ball back to us eventually.Right, that's enough for today, but here's tomorrow's session...it's going to be practicing passing slowly. We'll be perfecting taking 4 or 5 touches on the ball before rolling it slowly to a team mate, so that it attracts an opponent in for a tackle. We'll be making sure that everyone perfects this skill before we play another game. Go and get your monster munch guys.we have a very professional training set up. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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