simplythebestest

Sorry mate I get it now

All their stories seem to be down mate (all the ones I clicked anyway).

Do you recognise the site?

Or a Salim Kerkar!

Picture a run down council house. A ten year old PC whirs loudly in the corner covered in crisp packets, a manky old sock and dozens of fag ends. Some yellow fingered, bent toothed benefit dodger opens MS Paint with the smart idea of mocking up a fake story in tomorrow's paper to wind up his superiors. Mid-way through the mock-up he drops fag ash on the keys, but just proceeds to type knowing that any attempt to clean it would do little to improve the overall hygiene of the room. Now, as proud of this as anything he has ever created and after a quick trip to Maurice Edu's Twitter account for more abuse, he posts it on his Facebook for all 27 of his friends to share. He swings in his wooden dining room chair content in the knowledge that he truly has earned this weeks government cheque.

Jesus lads, I know we're a bunch of mere football fans but a granny with glaucoma could see that's Photoshopped. Clues for next time: 1. Google image search 'daily record front page.' You will see that the very first image result shows the same date as the phony posted on Twitter. 2. On real Daily Record's there is a white gap between the red top and the beginning of the content. 3. If you look closely at the top left of the gravestone image, you'll see it's a pixel or two out of line with the red top. 4. The height scaled down matches the height of the original, but there is no margin below 'The end.' Anyone who fell for this is way too gullible and needs to chill out.

Salihi's scoring record is AMAAAAZING 2002–2004 KS Vllaznia 54 (32) 2004–2005 Panionios Athens 5 (3) 2005–2006 KF Tirana 34 (31) 2007–2009 SV Ried 82 (67) 2009-2011 Rapid Wien 69 (36)

I'm all for seeing what Ortiz has to offer by going on loan - even if it's just to try and recoup what we paid. However, I think there's little point in sending him back to the same team. We already knew what he could do at Almeria, that's why we bought him ffs! Maybe we should give him a new challenge in a league similar to our own?

I think our plan of scouting the world for bargains might be not as straight forward as we thought if teams from Honduras want nearly a million quid for their players. I wonder how much £800,000 is actually worth in Honduras? 7 or 8 million maybe? They could probably sell us Claros and build a new stadium. Maybe we should move to the fucking Honduras league.

The papers act like things happen in the same way as a fucking soap opera. They paint the picture of Jelavic storming into the boardroom flailing his arms in the air and demanding a move then storming out again without time for a response while a lone journo hides in the waste-paper bin and gets the scoop. It's bollocks, Jela will be in constant contact with Whyte and Ally and they will already have a feel for what he wants to do next. There won't be any 'bust-ups' or 'backroom brawls' - it's not the WWE.

Agreed. I doubt it, but maybe there's a player included?

£8 million for Jelavic would be a fair price considering his international apps, the majority of his performances for us and his goalscoring record overall. You can disregard his recent poor performances as him simply being unsettled by speculation. Come on Moyes, loosen the purse strings.

No Jelavic = all over our opponents.

That's never a decent strike - this commentator takes it too far.

I might be wide of the mark here, but is anyone starting to think Goian is a big part of the punting it forward problem? He seems to be too willing to do it.

The idea of playing without our only quality striker is terrifying. Healy can score goals but he needs two or three times as many chances as other players at a similar level. I'd even feel a lot better if I knew some hot prospect from the youth team would get a call up, but we don't even seem to have that option with Hemmings always injured. Lafferty is useless. I always seen the best in him as a player and you can't blame the guy for his injury, but let's face it - he isn't contributing anywhere near enough to the team. Now we face the prospect of Healy alone up top or alongside Kerkar. I don't know about the older bears on here but I have certainly never seen a less threatening front line for Rangers. It all comes down to poor organisation in my opinion. Sitting here waiting as the clock ticks down to matchday and the window closing, hoping for a cheque with £9 million on it to appear, meanwhile scuppering our chances of £7 million if all else fails by deriding the bid. It seems like madness to me. We can bang on about him being worth £9 million, but he's only worth what someone is willing to pay, and that figure so far appears to be £7 million. Take the money, get a quality replacement in Salihi, Brozek or whoever else and win at the weekend to get three points that could help us generate markedly more revenue than the £2 million discrepancy. Think how close the title race has been several times in the last decade - 3 points can be the difference between failure and a domestic title & the European treasure chest.

Ah, so you admit it is completely unforgivable then? Sensationalism should be made a crminal act.

I would love her next piece to involve dusting off that bike, dressing as the Queen and delivering the Christmas speech at Parkhead on match day. She would like to think this is an unfair expectation as she is an artist not a journalist and that impartiality is not a prerequisite, but when she antagonises a group of innocent and unsuspecting people and pours fuel on the fires of hatred then she loses her right to that stance.

May as well not have the captain - we barely get the player.

I know he's been on great form but I don't think we need 30 year old strikers.

This, this, this, this and this.

It's another cookie-cutter piece of junk from a slightly more respectable web agency. It's undoubtedly miles better than before, but we have ignored the past 5 years of advancements in the industry and missed out on a plethora of ways to excite and engage with fans. You'd be forgiven for assuming that a company the size of Rangers would know a lot when it comes to online marketing, but they have missed a Hollywood dog trainers kennel full of tricks with this one. Don't be surprised to see Septic and a bunch of other teams roll out the same site with different content. The 'powered by Perform' message in the footer gives that fact away. I also despise the auto-play flash banner that comes on when you visit the homepage. 5 minutes of research tells you that this steals focus from the site content and increases bounce rates massively while only marginally increasing revenue. Who doesn't lose focus when a voice comes out of nowhere talking about broadband deals? Manchester City recently invested in their website. They spent time researching the industry and eventually picked a forward thinking, highly respected web agency to create a (nearly) cutting edge site that fans can truly engage with. You won't see any 'powered by' message in their footer, as it is a one off site, for Man City fans only. Also, don't make the mistake of thinking it's something ony Man City could afford. There are plenty of agencies who could deliver a site of that quality for south of £15,000. My dream of one day heading up Rangers web design team has just become more urgent than ever.

I'd be tempted to set up a one page website that would ask fans in theory what they would be willing to give and ask for an email so they can be contacted if the plan is ever put into action. I know the figure fans suggest they would give would be wildly out of proportion, but you would hope at least a tenth of the theoretical pledges would eventually contribute. Also, what's the harm in asking? I think that if a tenth of any pledge could be donated to the benevolent fund and a free exclusive gift was included then it could work very well indeed. What about for every fan who pledges a hundred quid, you get a fully autographed, personalisd, one of a kind team photo? Or every fan who pledges a fiver gets a Rangers player to follow them on Twitter? These kind of things can work if you make them rare, fun, transparent and genuine. What do you think - would I be wasting my time?

Did anyone else just go to godaddy.com?

That's why I'm a Rangers fan mate. What's your story?