Amato

You must be trolling. You must be. Surely. No? Seriously? Fuck sake.

Things to take from today's game: the media bias in Scotland is so blatant it's comical. Celtic get pumped off Lyon and the media report on what a fantastic performance the new boys put it in etc. We draw 1-1 with Marseille and hardly a peep, other than "Rangers admit they need to sharpen up".

I had hopes for a Waghorn hat trick today when I saw our website headline "Waggy Visits Soccer School". Was disappointed to learn he hasn't been taking shooting lessons but was just in to visit the kids

An embarrassment of a thread

Scummy behaviour

Pena for me. Then again, Alves is unmistakeable class. And Dorrans been doing it at a good level for years. Considering none of them played in the Luxembourg shambles, plus we've still to properly see Herrera, I'm actually feeling quite upbeat about the coming season again. Another high quality signing or two would be ideal though

He was no Claudio Reyna

The level of criticism aimed at him at this stage is embarrassing. Forget about last season, he was using MW's players, most of whom were useless fucks, and he knew the season was a write off so was experimenting. Absolutely shocking result against the Luxembourg nobodies, yes, but let's at least take into account the mitigating factors. Ridiculously early in the season, new team being put together and a few of our more promising new signings didn't even play. That's not an excuse, it was still awful but it's not season defining. Let's see where we are in a few months, the hysterical reaction isn't necessary at this stage.

Another bizarre MW signing. Chase the guy for weeks, pay over the odds for him then never play him (presumably cos you realise he is shite)

But not sorry enough to just not bother

"I want to come in and help the youngsters and I like to think I can bring a bit of experience having played at a high level for the last 10 years now," Dorrans told the Rangers official website. "The manager has been great too. I will play where he wants me to play; I am just excited to come in here. "I have been chatting to him for the last week or so, and he has been the driving force behind the move. I am looking forward to coming in and working with him. "There are some big names coming in and we'll get four weeks behind us now training, hopefully we'll gel quickly and be ready for the first game." Maybe I'm being overly (ridiculously you might say) optimistic here, but could Dorrans be meaning he's been told about other players we have lined up? I assume he's just referring to Alves and...eh... the other big names we've signed, but I can live in hope

436 goals in 501 appearances for Melchester Rovers, those are some stats

Only if you want to send him onto the pitch in a pair of Gola efforts

How many more signings do people anticipate we actually make? I have a bad feeling Dorrans then one more (hopefully not Walker) might be the last of the window

I see Pizza Hut are even getting in on the piss take now https://mobile.twitter.com/pizzahutuk/status/882688351186419713 Always thought their pizza was overrated shite anyway

There's no comparison to be made. Rangers used a perfectly legal scheme. We didn't believe the loan payments should be taxable, HMRC disagreed. It's now been ruled they are in fact taxable. It was simply a tax avoidance (note, avoidance NOT evasion) scheme that didn't have the intended tax savings that the promoter of the scheme believed it would. Still doesn't mean the scheme is illegal, just that tax needs to be paid on the loans payments now. Which it will be, to the extent that the company, now in liquidation, can afford from the creditors' pot.

Right what's the deal then, presumably this is just a wind up, has it been confirmed as such yet?

Eh? How was this an option

We can't afford to sack him, there are a number of new players here purely because of him. Disgusted with that result though. We need to get a few quality signings in (doubtful now) and hope we can significantly close the gap (also doubtful).

That'll be a no then

what did it say originally?

Struggled to watch it all, the interviewer did my tits in

Absolutely insane if you truly believe that. Mexico international, he has decent pedigree I highly doubt we've bought him as a friend for Pena