MrMckee 3,442 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Though a nice joke thread will keep in theme with the good vibes going around at the moment so if anyone got any good ones post them and we can all have a laugh (mainly at the manky mob!) Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegummy 4,472 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 A family are in outrage as the Grandpa, an orthadox Jew, lies dead at his wake wearing a Rangers shirt.When a teary-eyed daughter confronts the undertaker he replies "his last request was to be buried in the Gaza strip" Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoorie 1,088 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 B....... Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMckee 3,442 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 3 celtic fans walk into a bar a poof, a priest and a peadophile.......that was just the first one! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlBear. 8,499 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Nicky Law. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainAmerica18 846 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 John Eustace as captain. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sket 13,610 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Ally McCoists training. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMB 14,167 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Ally McCoist puts the club before his bank balance. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Possobear87 2 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 A signing who is under 30 Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tannerall 25,935 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 What's the biggest difference between the best stadium in Scotland and celtic park ?Answer: 9.3 kilometers. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
slimjim1690 4,534 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Bertie Peacock is sitting in the parkhead dressing room after c****c have just beaten The Rangers and he's all upset, McNeil goes up to him and asks "what's the matter Bertie we just beat them 3-0" Bertie replies "its those Rangers supporters, the keep calling me a Fenian bastard", McNeil replies " Och I wouldn't be bothered by that, they call me that all the time", "aye well it's all right for you" replied Bertie "you are wan". Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tannerall 25,935 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 If a bus carrying cellic fans, a bus carrying aberdeen fans, and a bus carrying dundee united fans drive off a cliff at the same time which one would hit the ground first ?Answer: who gives a fuck. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thewhitesettler 2,712 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Mark Warburton was out with his wife shopping, he bumped into Ronny Delia, the sellick manager, and says "Hi Ronny, what are you doing here" and Ronny replies, "I was getting a pound of mince for Scott Brown" Mark replies " You got a good deal there then"Mince? Mince? Mince? Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 a young boy is in class when his teacher asks "what football team do you support?" the boy answers "Rangers, Miss" the teacher asks why he supports Rangers, the boy answers "because my Mum and Dad support the World Famous Glasgow Rangers", the teacher, looking disappointed asks "well what if your mother was a prostitute and your father was a child molesting alcoholic, what would you be then?"the boy glanced around the room, then turned to his teacher and answered "a celtic fan, Miss" Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 how could you tell ET was a celtic fan?He looks like one Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virtuoso 27,180 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 McCoist and McDowall were leaving Ibrox one day when McDowall turns to McCoist and mentions that the family are having a barbecue later and would McCoist like to come. I can't manage answered McCoist.I know said Kenny, but would you still like to come. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluedart1952 1,388 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Scum fan wanted burying at sea, his four pals drowned digging the hole. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rangerswul9 1 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 How do you make a Fenian stand up??Will the defendant please rise Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rangerswul9 1 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 What do you do if a time drowning ? You push your foot down harder and put him out his misery . Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMckee 3,442 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 Celtic are looking at signing 2 new players a japenese kid called nickamota and an italian one called robatelli!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozblue 4,332 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 A Rangers supporter, an Aberdeen supporter and a Hibs supporter had just been to court for sentencing and were put together in a holding cell waiting to be taken to prison. The Rangers supporter asked the Aberdeen supporter what did he get done for?...." Assault and battery to a Shepherd and stealing Gyro cheques" was the reply. "What did you get?" asked the Rangers man?"3 years" answered the sheepie.The Rangers man then asked the Hibs fan; "What did you get done for?".....The Hibs man replied; " Selling drugs and needles to junkies then stabbing Edinburgh prostitutes". "Fuckin' hell man! what did you get?".........."4 years" replied the Hibee.Then the Hibee said to the Rangers fan; "Whit did you get done for?"....."I got done for pouring petrol over manky Sellik jakies and setting them on fire" said the Rangers fan."Jeezus fucking christ almighty!" said the Sheepie; "Whit did you get?""24 tae the gallon" said the Rangers man Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
folkestoneger 8,776 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 What do you do if a time drowning ? You push your foot down harder and put him out his misery .That would have been so much funnier if you could spell/type/edit (delete as required) Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgethebearlogan 14 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 one time this young man being a celtic fan and his family move into a new house in larkhall, 1st day they move in around 7pm the sash is getting played very loud.the man turns to his wife and says thats out of order they should turn it down a bit.This happens for a whole week and the young man and his family just cant take it anymore, so they go next door and knock on the door.A man answers and the man punches him in the face the guys says wit the fuck was that for.the guy says playing the sash every night at 7pm that loud is just out of order.The next door neighbor says mate thats not me its The Ice cream van!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLUEDIGNITY 33,927 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 A man went tae the doctor and . . . Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunk and disorderly. 14,940 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 What's the difference between a hedgehog and the girodome?The pricks are on the outside of a hedgehog. Quote Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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