Jump to content

Rangers Jokes


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 84
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

A family are in outrage as the Grandpa, an orthadox Jew, lies dead at his wake wearing a Rangers shirt.

When a teary-eyed daughter confronts the undertaker he replies "his last request was to be buried in the Gaza strip"

Link to post
Share on other sites

Bertie Peacock is sitting in the parkhead dressing room after c****c have just beaten The Rangers and he's all upset, McNeil goes up to him and asks "what's the matter Bertie we just beat them 3-0" Bertie replies "its those Rangers supporters, the keep calling me a Fenian bastard", McNeil replies " Och I wouldn't be bothered by that, they call me that all the time", "aye well it's all right for you" replied Bertie "you are wan".

Link to post
Share on other sites

Mark Warburton was out with his wife shopping, he bumped into Ronny Delia, the sellick manager, and says "Hi Ronny, what are you doing here" and Ronny replies, "I was getting a pound of mince for Scott Brown" Mark replies " You got a good deal there then"

Mince? Mince? Mince?

Link to post
Share on other sites

a young boy is in class when his teacher asks "what football team do you support?" the boy answers "Rangers, Miss" the teacher asks why he supports Rangers, the boy answers "because my Mum and Dad support the World Famous Glasgow Rangers", the teacher, looking disappointed asks "well what if your mother was a prostitute and your father was a child molesting alcoholic, what would you be then?"

the boy glanced around the room, then turned to his teacher and answered "a celtic fan, Miss"

Link to post
Share on other sites

McCoist and McDowall were leaving Ibrox one day when McDowall turns to McCoist and mentions that the family are having a barbecue later and would McCoist like to come. I can't manage answered McCoist.

I know said Kenny, but would you still like to come.

Link to post
Share on other sites

A Rangers supporter, an Aberdeen supporter and a Hibs supporter had just been to court for sentencing and were put together in a holding cell waiting to be taken to prison. The Rangers supporter asked the Aberdeen supporter what did he get done for?...." Assault and battery to a Shepherd and stealing Gyro cheques" was the reply. "What did you get?" asked the Rangers man?

"3 years" answered the sheepie.

The Rangers man then asked the Hibs fan; "What did you get done for?".....The Hibs man replied; " Selling drugs and needles to junkies then stabbing Edinburgh prostitutes". "Fuckin' hell man! what did you get?".........."4 years" replied the Hibee.

Then the Hibee said to the Rangers fan; "Whit did you get done for?"....."I got done for pouring petrol over manky Sellik jakies and setting them on fire" said the Rangers fan.

"Jeezus fucking christ almighty!" said the Sheepie; "Whit did you get?"

"24 tae the gallon" said the Rangers man :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

one time this young man being a celtic fan and his family move into a new house in larkhall, 1st day they move in around 7pm the sash is getting played very loud.

the man turns to his wife and says thats out of order they should turn it down a bit.

This happens for a whole week and the young man and his family just cant take it anymore, so they go next door and knock on the door.

A man answers and the man punches him in the face the guys says wit the fuck was that for.

the guy says playing the sash every night at 7pm that loud is just out of order.

The next door neighbor says mate thats not me its The Ice cream van!!!!!!!!!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Upcoming Events

    No upcoming events found

  • Create New...