Kilmarnock stars to phone fans in plea to buy more season tickets

[WilliamFyfe 1,438]

Ahahaha

[knowledge 21]

I don't think anyone wants to see clubs going bust over this.

[knowledge 21]

they would be aswell using Joe Pasquale to phone people.... for all the fukin good that itl do them hahahaha

I know a call that'll get on your nerves....

[elephants stoned 2,994]

:lol:

[GOAT 30,449]

I don't think anyone wants to see clubs going bust over this.

I want all 11 to die.

[BLUEDIGNITY 33,709]

Surprised they can afford the price of the phone calls !

[BRICKY1872 118]

Maybe the players could wander the streets of Kilmarnock with sandwich boards. This could be the new "golf sale".

[BRICKY1872 118]

I don't think anyone wants to see clubs going bust over this.

You mean the ones who would quite happily have seen us go that way?

[bazzl82 2]

I work in Kilmarnock and seen pictures up about this in a chippy n roll shop, this is epic

Rugby park soon to be ikea me thinks

[RANGERST1LLADIE 33]

Haha that's a joke, how desperate can you get

[RFC55 110,129]

This is an SPL wide problem.

It could be any team name inserted instead of Kilmarnock.

Only team to show an increase in sales has been Hearts. Now thats one of a couple of things, gubbing their rivals in a final, a European campaign and the fact they see themselfs as the 2nd best team left in the league and may hope to push the taigs all the way. But the rest of the league dont really want to know, the taigs dont have their obsession in the league, Utd dont have the team they love to beat the most in the league, the Sheep dont have the only team they turn up against in the leauge and the rest are diddies anyway.

A sad time for the SPL thank fuck were SFL

EDIT- i kept spelling league as leauge what a thick taig cunt

[Jalapeno 2]

"Hullo, Could I speak to Ronnie please ?"

"Aye, this is Ronnie, who is it ? If yer selling double glazing, loft insulation, solar power ye can beat it pal"

"Naw, naw, Ronnie. It's Kenny Shiels here. I'm no selling anything. I'll tell ye whit it is....I see you've no renewed yer season ticket this year. Any reason for that ?"

"Fuck off Galloway. I've heard yer wind-ups on the radio and yer no getting me"

"naw wait Ronnie. It really is me. We're in dire straits. We did what yeez wanted and voted Rangers oot, yet still nobody bought season tickets and we're left looking like dafties"

"Well mibbees ye shouldnae have listened to fans then. What the fuck do they know about running a football club. ? We wanted Rangers oot, but no oot that much. Who wants to watch a league thats done by August FFS ?"

"It might no be Ronnie, there's still a lot to play for, like getting top 6"

"Aye right ye are Kenny. I'll stick to watching it on the telly"

"Er.....well....Ronnie...We kinda dropped the baw on that one anaw. Sky fucked off"

"Dearie me Kenny, That's a helluva mess you've got us into"

"That's why I'm phoning you Ronnie. If all the fans bought season books, the club can survive. Can I count on your support Ronnie ? Will I put yer name down for one ?"

"So ye are trying to sell me something then ya lying bass, I'd rather buy solar heating"

"I've just spoken my boss, the chairman, and he says we could do you a one-off 50% reduction."

"50% off eh ? For a league thats lost 90% of it's value. I don't thinks so"

"Don't be so hasty Ronnie. I've just had a thought. We had a special offer price of 75% off which I might still be able to get you. hang on I'll check with the boss again." (Makes call and "argues" with boss).

"He wisnae happy Ronnie but says he'll do it. Will ye renew for 75% off ? We'll even throw in a Killie pie and a mention on the tannoy at every game"

"Nah kenny. Ye couldnae pay me to watch a league like that. A bunch of diddy clubs vying for second place. I can watch barca and Man U etc for less on the telly"

"Do you know anybody else that might buy a season ticket then Ronnie, we're desperate"

"Doubt it Kenny. If I was you I'd get down the job centre"

"Cheers Ronnie, I might have to do that. You're the 432nd person to tell me that today. Bye then"

"Cheerio Kenny. I'll mibbees See you down the dole on monday."

(Hangs up)

[elephants stoned 2,994]

The most shocking thing is that Kilmarnock think they have 'stars' in their team

[GOAT 30,449]

Maybe the players could wander the streets of Kilmarnock with sandwich boards. This could be the new "golf sale".

[54andcounting 627]

Kilmarnock ST hotline:

[Gid 46]

Another sad day for Scottish football.

Oh well, you made your bed. Now die in it.

[CanadianBacon 2,088]

"Hullo, Could I speak to Ronnie please ?"

"Aye, this is Ronnie, who is it ? If yer selling double glazing, loft insulation, solar power ye can beat it pal"

"Naw, naw, Ronnie. It's Kenny Shiels here. I'm no selling anything. I'll tell ye whit it is....I see you've no renewed yer season ticket this year. Any reason for that ?"

"Fuck off Galloway. I've heard yer wind-ups on the radio and yer no getting me"

"naw wait Ronnie. It really is me. We're in dire straits. We did what yeez wanted and voted Rangers oot, yet still nobody bought season tickets and we're left looking like dafties"

"Well mibbees ye shouldnae have listened to fans then. What the fuck do they know about running a football club. ? We wanted Rangers oot, but no oot that much. Who wants to watch a league thats done by August FFS ?"

"It might no be Ronnie, there's still a lot to play for, like getting top 6"

"Aye right ye are Kenny. I'll stick to watching it on the telly"

"Er.....well....Ronnie...We kinda dropped the baw on that one anaw. Sky fucked off"

"Dearie me Kenny, That's a helluva mess you've got us into"

"That's why I'm phoning you Ronnie. If all the fans bought season books, the club can survive. Can I count on your support Ronnie ? Will I put yer name down for one ?"

"So ye are trying to sell me something then ya lying bass, I'd rather buy solar heating"

"I've just spoken my boss, the chairman, and he says we could do you a one-off 50% reduction."

"50% off eh ? For a league thats lost 90% of it's value. I don't thinks so"

"Don't be so hasty Ronnie. I've just had a thought. We had a special offer price of 75% off which I might still be able to get you. hang on I'll check with the boss again." (Makes call and "argues" with boss).

"He wisnae happy Ronnie but says he'll do it. Will ye renew for 75% off ? We'll even throw in a Killie pie and a mention on the tannoy at every game"

"Nah kenny. Ye couldnae pay me to watch a league like that. A bunch of diddy clubs vying for second place. I can watch barca and Man U etc for less on the telly"

"Do you know anybody else that might buy a season ticket then Ronnie, we're desperate"

"Doubt it Kenny. If I was you I'd get down the job centre"

"Cheers Ronnie, I might have to do that. You're the 432nd person to tell me that today. Bye then"

"Cheerio Kenny. I'll mibbees See you down the dole on monday."

(Hangs up)

Carlsberg don't do begging phone calls....but if they did......

Quality sir....quality!

[Eric_Caldow 60]

The Italian midfielder said: “I asked if there was anything that the players could do to help out

Aye son, you could start by trying harder against every fucking team you meet instead of just Rangers and the mhanky mhob. Only then can you expect to draw in the fans and sponsorship, rather than waiting for the Gers fans to turn up with your pay packet.

[El Carpintero 546]

Cold calling, fuck that. There are not many more annoying nuisances in the world! That would put me off. Highly embarrassing. Alot of footballers are reclusive too, they will not enjoy that one bit.

[Guardian 4,281]

Michael Johnston was spouting ST sales were 5% up on last year a few weeks back. They certainly knew the consequences of their actions.

Here are some other things he said in an official statement

http://www.kilmarnockfc.co.uk/staticFiles/ca/b5/0,,10291~177610,00.pdf

"Kilmarnock Football Club, which is of course entirely blameless in this situation, finds itself in serious danger of suffering severe financial penalties if our opening fixture and subsequent home fixture on 6th April 2013 of the 2012-13 SPL season are against a “Club 12” which does not enjoy a travelling support of circa six to eight thousand (@ £26 per person), because that is what we have budgeted for, in line with every other SPL season since the league’s inception in 1998.

This means a potential drop in revenue of around £300,000 net.

If the vote on 4th July goes against “Rangers Newco”, the SPL will have breached its contract with “Sky” and other commercial partners who require “Old Firm” derbies as part of the SPL’s contractual obligations. Termination or renegotiation of these contracts may follow with unquantifiable (but certainly negative) financial consequences for all twelve member clubs.

This would have a profound impact on the operating conditions of our club. We no longer have access to “soft loans” from a wealthy owner and seven years of debt reduction is unlikely to be reversed by Lloyds Banking Group offering increased borrowing facilities.

The excellent support which we enjoy from sponsors and supporters would hopefully continue unabated but even the slickest of sales and marketing campaigns would struggle to fill the financial void in the short term.

Spending cuts in the club’s administration and hotel have already been implemented. There is no room for further savings in those areas without causing major operational issues. This leaves the playing squad to bear the brunt of a serious funding shortfall. Expenditure on the club’s Youth Development programme and community projects would also come under severe pressure.

The next few weeks are critical in terms of preparing the playing squad for the new season. The players reported back for pre-season training today. One or two of last season's first team regulars remain out of contract and we would like to be able to make offers to them and the signing targets highlighted by Kenny as soon as possible to give us the best preparation for next season.

For that reason, the news on season ticket sales offers encouragement and,hopefully, we'll be able to continue to report positive news as we proceed through the renewal process.

Each year, our clear objective is is to increase sales and we’re on target to do that for the second year in succession. It's a sobering thought, however, that we'd need around 1,000 additional adult season ticket sales to make up for the loss of two home fixtures against Rangers next season - but if that becomes a necessity, then that's what we'll aim to do.

So, we're looking for the wider issues to be resolved quickly, which will allow us and the rest of the SPL clubs to finalise budgets and pre-season plans and get back to playing football. Now, perhaps more than ever before, we need our true supporters to back the club - regardless of who "Club 12" turns out to be.

[corkinator 611]

It's like the UCI cinema or GAME phoning you at home to come to the pictures or buy Xbox stuff cos their struggling.

This is up there with the kilie fans begging the nappy rippers not to boycott them.

Embarrassing just doesn't cover it.

[The_Blue_Flash 390]

"Hullo, Could I speak to Ronnie please ?"

"Aye, this is Ronnie, who is it ? If yer selling double glazing, loft insulation, solar power ye can beat it pal"

"Naw, naw, Ronnie. It's Kenny Shiels here. I'm no selling anything. I'll tell ye whit it is....I see you've no renewed yer season ticket this year. Any reason for that ?"

"Fuck off Galloway. I've heard yer wind-ups on the radio and yer no getting me"

"naw wait Ronnie. It really is me. We're in dire straits. We did what yeez wanted and voted Rangers oot, yet still nobody bought season tickets and we're left looking like dafties"

"Well mibbees ye shouldnae have listened to fans then. What the fuck do they know about running a football club. ? We wanted Rangers oot, but no oot that much. Who wants to watch a league thats done by August FFS ?"

"It might no be Ronnie, there's still a lot to play for, like getting top 6"

"Aye right ye are Kenny. I'll stick to watching it on the telly"

"Er.....well....Ronnie...We kinda dropped the baw on that one anaw. Sky fucked off"

"Dearie me Kenny, That's a helluva mess you've got us into"

"That's why I'm phoning you Ronnie. If all the fans bought season books, the club can survive. Can I count on your support Ronnie ? Will I put yer name down for one ?"

"So ye are trying to sell me something then ya lying bass, I'd rather buy solar heating"

"I've just spoken my boss, the chairman, and he says we could do you a one-off 50% reduction."

"50% off eh ? For a league thats lost 90% of it's value. I don't thinks so"

"Don't be so hasty Ronnie. I've just had a thought. We had a special offer price of 75% off which I might still be able to get you. hang on I'll check with the boss again." (Makes call and "argues" with boss).

"He wisnae happy Ronnie but says he'll do it. Will ye renew for 75% off ? We'll even throw in a Killie pie and a mention on the tannoy at every game"

"Nah kenny. Ye couldnae pay me to watch a league like that. A bunch of diddy clubs vying for second place. I can watch barca and Man U etc for less on the telly"

"Do you know anybody else that might buy a season ticket then Ronnie, we're desperate"

"Doubt it Kenny. If I was you I'd get down the job centre"

"Cheers Ronnie, I might have to do that. You're the 432nd person to tell me that today. Bye then"

"Cheerio Kenny. I'll mibbees See you down the dole on monday."

(Hangs up)

That is F******* hilarous, love it, made me laugh on another shit day, repped thank you

[CanadianBacon 2,088]

Ring-Ring (Killie fan answers the phone): "Hello?"

Computer message starts up: "Hi, have you recently taken out a loan player, or have you been missold a dud 2nd-rate European....well you can claim compensation by....." (Killie fan slams down phone).

[Guardian 4,281]

Ring-Ring (Killie fan answers the phone): "Hello?"

Computer message starts up: "Hi, have you recently taken out a loan player, or have you been missold a dud 2nd-rate European....well you can claim compensation by....." (Killie fan slams down phone).

[Right_To_Censor 1,951]