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onefootwillie

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EXCUSIVE: It's been revealed by our courageous and intrepid reporters that Rangers FC are signing players with two feet. The problem is that they're disrespecting the rest of Scottish football by using both of them. The laws of the game must be changed before Rangers FC begin to win things again.

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Disgraceful Rangers put five past Hibs and celebrate.

Police Scotland will this morning investigate horrific scenes of Rangers cleaning the floor with their no-mark competitors and relegation favourites Hibs

Or something as such :)

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Police are looking for several men in connection to a sickening sectarian attack.

The incident happened around 11:30 last night when 2 youths were set upon by 3 men in Suchiehall st.police say one man was subjected to sickening sectarian slurs by a fat repulsive toothless man aged 30-35 and wearing a green hooped jumper...it is thought by police he is a rangers fan.

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It actually works, the negative headlines and stories. A bear at lunch was talking about the Oduwa bit of skill and actually said "it was class, even though he shouldn't have done it". He was corrected and put in his place but it shows you what impact these headlines have.

This is an important point. Recently the Rhancid Rhecord carried a story quoting Darren Fletcher in his fullsome praise of James McLean. Ignoring the obvious question of why they are even interested in an Irish player playing for an English club, the more disturbing aspect is that it is now acceptable to overtly promote republicans in this way.

Remember the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

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It actually works, the negative headlines and stories. A bear at lunch was talking about the Oduwa bit of skill and actually said "it was class, even though he shouldn't have done it". He was corrected and put in his place but it shows you what impact these headlines have.

media is full of taigs and the 'Athletic Wing' learned from their masters in Oirland. Bastards are experts at manipulating the media. Look how we used to sing 'go home ya h*** AT THEM and how they turned the word against us.

Liars from the cradle to the grave

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"New EBT charges to be laid at the doors of Ibrox"

The Rangers are to be investigated over claims they are breaking the law by employing players of a high standard, capable of the utmost disrespect, but denying them their legal right to an EBT contract.

A source at HMRC (Who eventually had to agree that EBTs' were legal) was heard to say, "It is a disgrass, so it is, a complete disgrass".

A concerned member of the public (who actually shouldn't have been allowed out alone) was also heard passionately crying, "Shite, that's whit it is, pure Shite".

No one at Ibrox was capable of commenting on this matter, as whenever approached, all they did was burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter. When this behaviour was reported back to our editor he wept, yes wept, like a bitch, and muttered something about "This feel good factor at Ibrox should be illegal, It's jist no right".

Also on pages 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 and right through to the back page, we give you the lowdown on just how sick and obsessed we are about all thing Rangers.

:uk:

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peter lawwell & ǝpɐbıɹq uǝǝɹb ǝɥʇ join forces to start a petition to get Prince William's name changed to something less offensive to the poor tims.

Declan O'Flaherty (36 & unemployed) stated today "it's gonna be brutal when William becomes King maaaan, they h*** will be pyoor loving it.

They'll huv Union Jacks wi King Billy oan them everywhere, it's no fair & its pyoor rascist against us by the way so it is.

Suggestions so far include - Gerard, Sean & John Paul.

The Queen (who has seen off more Popes than cancer) is presently holidaying at Balmoral and due to surpass the magnificent 63 year reign of her great, great grandmother Queen Victoria, stated "One will not listen to any rebellious republican nonsense regarding my grandsons fine Protestant name & one may even consider adding to the celebrations by abdicating the throne to William when my team, The Famous Glasgow Rangers lift their world record 55th League title next season"

Local Catholics were left reeling at this response & have gathered around parkhead for a candlelight vigil.

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